08-15-2012, 07:30 PM
Being a 'good top' depends on what the bottom wants/needs.
Some actually like it dry, rough (fast and furious) while others want lots of lube, to go slow and a good deal of gentleness.
I strongly suggest sober communication before you two actually attempt this again. And I strongly suggest that the alcohol isn't flowing (or other substances) when you attempt this again.
There is a huge difference between a mag-flashlight and a penis - and not just physically. Inserting an inanimate object up ones rectum is not the same thing as being mounted by a man. The implications carried by the act can have profound impact on a person who is just coming out or just beginning to 'admit' their sexuality.
Talking before sex helps to get an idea of what BOTH of you expect and want. Being a good top usually means you need to know what it is you like and what your partner likes and trying to find a middle ground between these two points.
Rarely do two people want the same things, or have desires/needs that mesh and compliment each other to the point where they do not need to communicate.
Also understand that there are two different ways this may go.
This first pessimistic way is that he will come to hate you and blame you for all but 'raping him' as he back pedals from the act in horror of what he has done. Since his actions to date is to use a chemical substance (alcohol) to screw up the courage to pursue his 'secret' desires, the chance is higher that his after-sex reaction will go badly.
The second way this can go is that he falls madly, deeply in love with you and will expect you to be his lover. Being his 'first' means you carry a lot more burden for his heart than just pleasuring him a few moments in the sack. It means you take a huge risk of being the first man to rip his heart out and jump up and down on it.
These potentials need to be discussed as well.
Like it or not, you are the 'experienced' individual here. You will need to draw on your experiences and reflect on the complex emotions you had the first time you 'did it' and attempt to predict outcomes for him.
Ultimately he doesn't know what will happen, how he will act/react and most likely is very uncertain about taking this step to begin with.
Part of being a top means you take the dominate role in many other areas, not just being the perpetrator.
Since he wants to bottom, he most likely has a half understanding that his desire is more than just having a penis up the poop-chute, but is a lot more of half understood emotions and needs.
Some actually like it dry, rough (fast and furious) while others want lots of lube, to go slow and a good deal of gentleness.
I strongly suggest sober communication before you two actually attempt this again. And I strongly suggest that the alcohol isn't flowing (or other substances) when you attempt this again.
There is a huge difference between a mag-flashlight and a penis - and not just physically. Inserting an inanimate object up ones rectum is not the same thing as being mounted by a man. The implications carried by the act can have profound impact on a person who is just coming out or just beginning to 'admit' their sexuality.
Talking before sex helps to get an idea of what BOTH of you expect and want. Being a good top usually means you need to know what it is you like and what your partner likes and trying to find a middle ground between these two points.
Rarely do two people want the same things, or have desires/needs that mesh and compliment each other to the point where they do not need to communicate.
Also understand that there are two different ways this may go.
This first pessimistic way is that he will come to hate you and blame you for all but 'raping him' as he back pedals from the act in horror of what he has done. Since his actions to date is to use a chemical substance (alcohol) to screw up the courage to pursue his 'secret' desires, the chance is higher that his after-sex reaction will go badly.
The second way this can go is that he falls madly, deeply in love with you and will expect you to be his lover. Being his 'first' means you carry a lot more burden for his heart than just pleasuring him a few moments in the sack. It means you take a huge risk of being the first man to rip his heart out and jump up and down on it.
These potentials need to be discussed as well.
Like it or not, you are the 'experienced' individual here. You will need to draw on your experiences and reflect on the complex emotions you had the first time you 'did it' and attempt to predict outcomes for him.
Ultimately he doesn't know what will happen, how he will act/react and most likely is very uncertain about taking this step to begin with.
Part of being a top means you take the dominate role in many other areas, not just being the perpetrator.
Since he wants to bottom, he most likely has a half understanding that his desire is more than just having a penis up the poop-chute, but is a lot more of half understood emotions and needs.
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