need advice

[hank]

Yeah, it does affect us, sometime for our entire lives, sometimes not as long but if it is going to affect you in sexual situation, your partner needs to understand that it isn't them and, you are not going to be upset with them in the least when it happens. Once they are okay on that, you can help them learn how to support you and be there for you when you do trigger

Being abused might affect how you express your sexuality and, will affect how you react to certain sexual situation but, it didn't make you gay, like me you were just born gay and, it's normal and right to be gay.

Being gay had nothing to do with you being abused, nothing about you, nothing you said or did, or didn't say or do had anything to do with it either. The abuse was not your fault in any way, shape or form. That is the first thing to remember, the second is that when you trigger, it is in no way your partner's fault or yours, it is only the aftermath of the abuse, and the one to blame for it is your abuser, no one else.

As you gain experience sexually, you may find more things that trigger you and, need to go back to a therapist for help with those. There's no shame in that and, no reason to fear finding those triggers. Once you know them, you can begin fixing them so they won't bother you anymore.

I am trying to break the idea that I am bisexual because I was abused, I am not sure it matters. My parents linked it to that. I don't know if you ever wanted to be straight or feared being non heterosexual but I desperately didn't want to be. I don't blame my parents, what can you tell a scared teenager who thinks he May be gay to help him. It just so happened I had an experience that was an easy target. And it stopped my worry, only for a short time but a break from the turmoil was all I wanted. They were raised in a world that despised homosexual men. I was raised to think it was wrong, and of course you know I can't change it, not for lack of trying. So I am wrong by my upbringing, it is so hard to break out of that, to reeducate myself.