May I rant on your shoulder please?

[Pix]

I'm sorry to hear this, you really deserve better. Orientations aside, I'd definitely see you as a keeper to be prized above all others without a need for a quick lay on the side.

And IIRC, this is the same guy who can't keep from opening infected files, even though he should know by now. If he can't even change that self-destructive behavior then he can't change his sexual behavior which is even more core to our being.

And for what it's worth (which may not be much) I had a lover that I thought was for life. We were together for 5 years (and had known each other for 7) and survived a lot of drama, including when I busted her for cheating which I forgave her for, and was sure we'd grow old together. And when signs of cheating started I wouldn't even see it (for example, when she suddenly got secretive about her calls I thought she must be helping someone secretly and was impressed, or possibly planning out a surprise for me, ah, irony). When I realized the truth and confronted her as you did your [*ahem*] boo I felt something die in me and it ended with her leaving. At first I was just numb and even didn't care that I know she claimed some CDs as she left as her own just trying to start a fight (I just wanted her gone and was grateful we didn't have a pet to fight over). In retrospect I think I was in shock, mostly operating on automatic, and I think I did a lot more sleeping than usual (as I just couldn't read or take joy in anything else).

And then, a few days after she left, it suddenly hit me and I was devastated, feeling both rage and grief. And then I slowly recovered throwing myself into the business of living while I healed. And over 3 years later I've even forgiven her and view her with compassion (and genuinely wish her well), though I will never forget or be with her again, and even just last night I had a dream about her (and wish those dreams would stop).