May I rant on your shoulder please?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Bowyn, first let me say I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Something you thought was "real and true" has been proven to be a lie and I know that hurts. Second I think right now you're just in shock, which is why you feel so jaded and cynical. It's normal but you know that. But finally, and I can't stress this enough, please please please get yourself tested! I don't care how much he tells you he used protection, you owe it to yourself to make sure. And if he would lie about other things, he'll lie about a little rubber! The only one who can really take care of you is you! Stay strong and stand your ground! You deserve so much better than him! Much love my friend!

Well tested for what exactly? HIV? I get that done every 6 months because, you see, two years into this 'relationship' he came back positive.

It took five years to discover he hooked up with his ex during his drug-relapse (his drug of choice meth, his tweak of choice sex). Since it was all tied into drug use (marathon sex on meth) I let it slide because I figured that normally (clean and sober) he wouldn't be having sex with people.

Yeah I know, there is gonorrhea , syphilis, herpes and others. Plus there is the potential for scabies, lice and other 'critters'.

Understand that sex around here with me is a rare and mystical creature. For the past 12 years he has been at best 'shy' pulling back and worried about giving me HIV... Well maybe he was just too tired...

And when we did have sex I made certain to condomize before I sodomized him. Um no, he it what you would call a 'total bottom' in that he would never mount me even if you held a gun to his head.

I am actually more worried about contracting contact things like scabies and lice. Thus its the couch for him.