May I rant on your shoulder please?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Bowyn,

You shouldn't have to compromise or make concessions. Even if past personal experience tells you otherwise, there are "good" people out there who are honest, who don't cheat, and who would give someone like you the respect you deserve. Believe me, they are out there.

I really hope this experience, no matter how it leaves you emotionally (now and in the future), that it doesn't scar you deep enough that you will never trust again. This is a typical reaction, but please fight it with all your might. The reason I say this, because the next person you fall in love with (and yes, even after this you might NOT want to ever allow yourself to love again, but I hope you will...) deserves the benefit of the doubt. It will not be fair to him (or you) to always be wondering, waiting and thinking he will do the same thing. Don't fall into that trap. In general, people are good, and typically trustworthy.

You've just had a really bad run with the "smaller population" of guys that you can't trust. You already know about a similar situation I had with a "cheater", so like a close friend to me said; "Don't allow this experience to affect you in such a way that you cannot trust again." Easy for me to dish out this advise, I know, much harder to "allow" yourself to be vulnerable again and trust someone.

Keep us posted, you have a lot of people who care for you...

Generally people are good.

I could tell you things, terrible things. Things I have seen and witnessed, the things people have confessed to me. I got to walk on the 'dark side' during the years of ministry.

I saw with my own eyes what people are capable of. Homeless shelters, Polk Street... Was just the tip of that iceberg. Working as a front desk clerk at a zero star hotel that rented rooms by the hour I got to see a shooting, public abuse and even the horrors that 'johns' can do to prostitutes in the rented rooms.

Confession may be good for the soul of the confessor, it is a terrible poison for the one who listened to the confession.

My own personal relationships with such winners is nothing compared to the rest of the things I saw and heard.

So no, I do not see people as generally good. Sure I play lip service to that idea, I even say 'Humans are basically harmless' - But I know better. I just don't have the heart to take the blinders off of people.