May I rant on your shoulder please?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

David, as an ex speed freak myself, you are wise to look for devils, as you put it, specifically a white, peanut butter or pink devil (or those funny light blue pills called hydrocodone or Lortab, or those big black capsules known as West Coast Turn Arounds or, Black Beauties.)

Were I in your place, I'd be using every trick in the book to see if he was using again. Borrow a bill, rub the center of it and see if your fingers taste bitter, look for blades or smaller pieces of crumpled foil. Is he drinking more fluids that usual, not eating as much, or eating lighter foods. Making sure he has bills in his pocket or wallet before going out, taking just a minute too long between flushing the toilet and washing his hands, or the water running just a bit too long while washing his hands? Has he had a nose bleed recently when he usually doesn't get them? Just a bit frigidity or jittery when he should be tired? Or my favorite, headache powders that have been refilled or mixed with the stuff. (and that one is near impossible to tell since BC and Goody's brand powders look and taste the same - the legal powders just don't numb like meth will.)

I know, if he has slipped, that puts things in a whole new light, but it's information you need to know, so, I've given you every trick that you might not have known, to look for. Might not change anything as far as your decision goes, but it's more information to use in making that decision.

For me, that would be the final straw, he'd be gone but, that's because I don't want that stuff around me and, I know to well the financial, emotional and physical damage it does to a person. I'd hate to see your limited income finance any part of that crap. Be careful, if he is using, you know what a speed driven bad reaction can be if you confront him once you know.

And yes based on just the little you posted, I think it's a very good possibility.

Until I replied to Mum's post I didn't connect drug use into this.

Yes he is eating less, the dogs have been getting more. He has been sleeping less (insomnia he says, the new HIV pills he is on - he has recently switched to new pills).

Since November (when he started at Target) to now he has been shedding pounds. He has lost about 30 pounds I would say. He tells me its because he works so much, stocking, collecting carts - thus is burning more calories. Of course he refused to take the packed lunches I make him 'forgets' them.

Fidgety yes. I have even asked him what is wrong as his leg swings madly back and forth... He blamed the pills (HIV pills along with an antidepressant the doctor recently put him on since these new pills cause depression).

He doesn't carry cash. A real irritating thing in my books. Everything from a pack of gum to a grocer's visit is put on the ATM Card.

As far as I know his meth habit is one of IV use (slamming). As an Ex slammer myself I can't see how snorting it would be as satisfying, the whole romancing the needle thing and then the rush - something you don't get with tabs, snorting, etc.

A few of weeks ago he came in the house and just stood there and for a brief moment I thought he was 'crashing'. You know, post tweak I gotta fall down and sleep. He said he felt a cold coming on then went to bed for 48 hours.

I didn't think much of it because his job had had him on recent weird shifts, going in late, staying until late, then having to go in at 9 the next day... Well he said work...

So yeah, there are potential symptoms.

I mulled over asking him while we was watching the DNC... I decided to just wait since he works tonight.