May I rant on your shoulder please?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think we will just go the route of roommates without benefits.

Its going to take time to sort through our "Us" crap bills, finances, material possessions and figure out whats "Yours" and "Mine".

Legally we have a lot of stuff linked up, for instance living trusts, wills, life insurance policies. Car/driver insurance is on one policy. The truck was registered under his name (it was just easier at the time) Of course the truck no longer runs and is being parted out.

I have dumped money into his debts: I paid for about half that car he drives, probably paid off one of his student loans by myself, and other things like that. So we need to figure out how to separate that to where I won't feel totally stung.

This also means that we will sleep in the same room, but not the same bed. This place is tiny (450 square feet) with only one bedroom. So we will be switching out the bed for twin beds this weekend (the folks have a set in storage -yay)

New Rules:

Since I have been playing at being the mommy in the household, I am currently devising new rules. While I put up with a lot of crap from my partner, I feel I shouldn't have to deal with this sort of stuff from my 'new' roommate.

I'm uncertain how to settle the cooking part. He doesn't know how to cook much so I naturally did it since I know how to take raw potatoes and turn them into mashed potatoes (something he still can't figure out!:o) Do I still cook for him owning to the lack of kitchen skills?

Cleaning definitely has to be shared... I'm uncertain how to insure he cleans 'half'. But I want a strict 'You pick up your crap each day' rule.

Since I am currently engaged as caretaker of this property which pays electricity, water, trash, sewage and most of the rent (we only pay $150 a month) I think that since he no longer my 'partner' and only a roommate that he needs to start doing some yard care around here to 'pay' his half of rent.

Honestly I do not know what the 'rent' and all of these assorted things (electricity, well water, septic tank, trash collection) would be in cash. If I knew how much this was 'worth' I would just charge him rent (cash) - giving me spending money.

I'm wondering if I'm in my right to insist on a drug testing. If so how do I go about getting him tested? Can I enforce a 'drug test' rule on a 'roommate'? Should I even bother?

Garden foods: That vegetable garden has been my labor or love, from it we get a majority of food we eat around here. I have no idea what its 'worth' in cash. I do all of the work, turning soil, weeding, planting/sowing, cultivating watering, tending bug picking, harvesting, spreading manures and compost... Lots of work. I also do a lot of canning and sun-drying. So its not like we go to the grocers and get a receipt that we can divide in half and food costs are settled. I'm uncertain how to 'divide' the garden.

I really don't want him in the garden. His ability to use tools is 'iffy' and I doubt he would pull just weeds, or for that matter is competent enough to not trample seedlings, or pull up all the carrots when I say 'be selective'.

I have no idea how to 'share' the burden on that.

He may not bring 'dates' to the house - ever. They will be shot. Period.
The reality is I don't want 'casual' strangers knowing where we live, and what is in the house. I don't know these people and I doubt I can trust them.

---> Is that reasonable?

As for mom (His mom, my 'mother in law' who I guess will now be my 'ex-mother in law') I don't see why I need to change anything there. No need for be to get pissy and treat her badly for her son's behaviors.

What do you all think? Is this a good solid plan to make it through a transition phase?

Any other ideas suggestions to make this 'workable'?