09-12-2012, 05:50 AM
Bowyn, you're in a good place. You have the wherewithal to know what harms you and which mistakes you do not want to make. My only advice is to rely on therapy, friends, and family. They will be your support. You cant force yourself to face the embarrassment alone because it will remain unresolved. It took my dearest friends constantly reminding me that i did what i was supposed to do (in the relationship and ending the relationship).
It's going to be a rough journey, but it will be short lived. You will realize how fortunate you are in your new found freedom. For now, continue to process your feelings but dont do it alone. Find the shoulder you need to cry on and the tears will eventually dry. You will awake one day just happy with who you are and your decision. This is not your battle. These are not your demons. This entire experience is merely your opportunity to be truly happy. It just takes a while to recognize it.
It's going to be a rough journey, but it will be short lived. You will realize how fortunate you are in your new found freedom. For now, continue to process your feelings but dont do it alone. Find the shoulder you need to cry on and the tears will eventually dry. You will awake one day just happy with who you are and your decision. This is not your battle. These are not your demons. This entire experience is merely your opportunity to be truly happy. It just takes a while to recognize it.
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