09-12-2012, 05:18 PM
Well said Maverick, but some people actually do that better if they can let fly at a relative stranger (like us here) in a chat, email, or other online message. Some of us have our own various reasons for never letting anyone close to us in person see any weakness and, it's just easier for us to let that show to a select few long distance friends.
That's fine too, it's still a way to vent that, an outlet and, a place to find a shoulder to rant on (or cry one) even if it is a virtual one. There is a live person on the other side of the keys and, that's enough.
I'm one of those people. Aside from the extra target practice and the fact that my ex was no longer here, no one around here saw anything but the same determined, driven, independent, strong me they always see. Outwardly I was fine, played it off as entirely a practical decision for completely logical reasons from both myself and my ex. Not the entire truth, though those reasons were part of it. For the most part, I leaned on two good online friends and one over the phone friend.
If that's what works best and is most comfortable for you then that's what you need to do. Times like this are not the times to be pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations - you've got too much stress and too many emotions too close to the surface already to be doing that.
As for a professional counselor of some kind, yes if you think one will help but, I also know some of us have been there too often and know the drill, know that another one is not going to give us anything we don't already know we SHOULD be doing.
We will get to it, in our time, we just need a voice form somewhere reminding us that we do know the healthy way forward and up, and that it's okay if we aren't at the point of doing those things for a little while as long as we don't let ourselves go through the wrong exits while we look for the pieces we need to pick up and try to find the glue to fix our broken crystal ball of a life again.
Sometimes it's a re run of a road we've been down before, and we know it but, that doesn't make it any easier, makes it harder in some ways. We know where all the wrong turns are, but we will take a few of them anyway, and we'll stop before the end of those wrong ways and stare at them for a while before we decide to turn around and take the better, harder to travel road.
David, I don't know you well enough to know if that's you, but I suspect it is to some degree. My PM box is always open. Just tell me "No comment allowed" if you don't want any more that a virtual hug for a reply. I'm sure there are others here that keep the PM boxes open too
That's fine too, it's still a way to vent that, an outlet and, a place to find a shoulder to rant on (or cry one) even if it is a virtual one. There is a live person on the other side of the keys and, that's enough.
I'm one of those people. Aside from the extra target practice and the fact that my ex was no longer here, no one around here saw anything but the same determined, driven, independent, strong me they always see. Outwardly I was fine, played it off as entirely a practical decision for completely logical reasons from both myself and my ex. Not the entire truth, though those reasons were part of it. For the most part, I leaned on two good online friends and one over the phone friend.
If that's what works best and is most comfortable for you then that's what you need to do. Times like this are not the times to be pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations - you've got too much stress and too many emotions too close to the surface already to be doing that.
As for a professional counselor of some kind, yes if you think one will help but, I also know some of us have been there too often and know the drill, know that another one is not going to give us anything we don't already know we SHOULD be doing.
We will get to it, in our time, we just need a voice form somewhere reminding us that we do know the healthy way forward and up, and that it's okay if we aren't at the point of doing those things for a little while as long as we don't let ourselves go through the wrong exits while we look for the pieces we need to pick up and try to find the glue to fix our broken crystal ball of a life again.
Sometimes it's a re run of a road we've been down before, and we know it but, that doesn't make it any easier, makes it harder in some ways. We know where all the wrong turns are, but we will take a few of them anyway, and we'll stop before the end of those wrong ways and stare at them for a while before we decide to turn around and take the better, harder to travel road.
David, I don't know you well enough to know if that's you, but I suspect it is to some degree. My PM box is always open. Just tell me "No comment allowed" if you don't want any more that a virtual hug for a reply. I'm sure there are others here that keep the PM boxes open too
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