09-18-2012, 03:05 PM
Like many, i didn't come out till i was in my 30's, but by then I had already dated women, met a girl, asked her to marry me, was engaged and got married. Several years after coming out, i met a man, a year later I asked him to marry me during an event at a local gay bar. (Actually, i had just finished singing "our song" during kareoke, and right after, I kept the microphone and then i asked him to marry me! Lots of smiles, applause and tears - was the perfect setting with so many friends there. Three months later we had a wonderful committment ceremony!
To answer your question, it really depends on YOU! I followed the same path with my gay partner as i did with my female partner. I bought an engagement ring (not a diamond, more a symbolic ring) and then we both went to a jewler to pick out committment rings to exchange during our ceremony.
Regarding benefits, at that time ( we're talking 2000) i was fortunate enough to work for General Electric who had made the decision to extend healthcare benefits to same-sex partners (Yes, we had to prove that we lived together for more than 6 months) but that made things much easier from a healthcare perspective. We also sat down and changed our life insurance beneficiaries to each other.
That relationship ended many years ago, but i've since met, fell in love with and moved in with a wonderful loving man who IS my partner. We've yet to have a ceremony, as we've been focused on our finances (we both owned houses), but once we decided to live together, i filled out my living will, regular will, medical power of attorney and 3 other legal documents where i named him as my legal partner. Yes, it's cold and not the same as signing a Marriage Certificate, i had to do it to protect US.
Our hope is that gay marriage will be the law of the land in the next year or so and at that time we can have our ceremony - if it looks like it will be too many years, we'll go ahead and have a committment ceremony.
Again, to answer your question - everyone's situation/relationship is differnt. My advice, go with your heart, make sure you respect your partner's feelings and go for it. THen, take some time to get the proper legal documents in place to protect your rights - medically, legally and financially!
To answer your question, it really depends on YOU! I followed the same path with my gay partner as i did with my female partner. I bought an engagement ring (not a diamond, more a symbolic ring) and then we both went to a jewler to pick out committment rings to exchange during our ceremony.
Regarding benefits, at that time ( we're talking 2000) i was fortunate enough to work for General Electric who had made the decision to extend healthcare benefits to same-sex partners (Yes, we had to prove that we lived together for more than 6 months) but that made things much easier from a healthcare perspective. We also sat down and changed our life insurance beneficiaries to each other.
That relationship ended many years ago, but i've since met, fell in love with and moved in with a wonderful loving man who IS my partner. We've yet to have a ceremony, as we've been focused on our finances (we both owned houses), but once we decided to live together, i filled out my living will, regular will, medical power of attorney and 3 other legal documents where i named him as my legal partner. Yes, it's cold and not the same as signing a Marriage Certificate, i had to do it to protect US.
Our hope is that gay marriage will be the law of the land in the next year or so and at that time we can have our ceremony - if it looks like it will be too many years, we'll go ahead and have a committment ceremony.
Again, to answer your question - everyone's situation/relationship is differnt. My advice, go with your heart, make sure you respect your partner's feelings and go for it. THen, take some time to get the proper legal documents in place to protect your rights - medically, legally and financially!
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