Gay and Mental Illness

[gavjg]

I had to make an emergency appointment today with my doctor as I just was at breaking point, And he has put me back on the anti depressants (As I did go cold turkey on them) and given me Diazipam for a week so that my body can calm down a bit.
I said that I don't want tablets all the time and want to come off them a.s.a.p but he said that I do need them.
I will have to go back in two weeks and then discuss seeing a specialist.
I did tell the doctor about my anxiety and that it seems to stem from my low self esteem and confidence because I am gay but I don't think that made much difference.
What if the counselor isn't gay friendly ?
I really want to enjoy life and be with other people in the same situation and I am even willing to go away on a break to help with this but it is getting someone in that same situation to come with me or a group of people.
Just the thought of walking in a meeting on my own makes me feel sick.
Mental illness/Depression is destroying me and I really have to make a start now and not hold back.
Loneliness is so hurtful and I have so much to give to a friend/friends/Partner.
A horrible situation I am in and if someone said here is a place to go on for a week with simular people, Even though I am shy I would take it without hesitation.