09-24-2012, 03:44 PM
Bowyn is spot on! If you're 43 and overweight and you go to clubs frequented by the 21-31 year old crowd, all you're doing is feeding your perceptions and self-doubt. Yes, its fun to fantasize about being with a hot, muscled gay man - but that's what porn is for - FANTASY! Now, if you really want to attract a younger, musclular/fit man - then you have two options: 1) Keep going to those clubs and wait till you find the 1 or 2 muscle guys into heavier older men, or 2) change your lifestyle: get to the gym, get in shape, update your hairstyle/clothing, etc - i mean, you know what that crowd finds attractive, so yo'd have to change to adapt.
Or, you can do as other's have posted, and go to places where being older and larger isn't an issue. I've lived in 7 states in my life and in every city i lived in, there were groups/bars/clubs where older/larger men hung out.
All that said, i have to also address the issue of self-pity/loathing among so many of the older/heavier men. They give up on changing their lifestyle. They are attracted to fitter men, but make no REAL effort to get in shape, excercise and change their diet to get fit. Look, if for no other reason than to get healthy, make the decision to become more healthy. Yes, there are men who are attracted to heavy guys, but in the US, the #1 killer of people complications from obesity: High blood pressure, heart attacks, diabeties, strokes, etc.
NO, you don't have to become a muscle stud, but losing weight and getting in shape is good for your mind AND body. It all starts with having a positive self-image, and i know first hand, because i was obese a long time ago.
Some of you may have read my posts in the pasts about how when i came out i was 70lbs overweight. I figured out immediatly that i had let myself go and that i had to change my lifestyle. Yes, part of my motivation was to be able to turn heads at bars and clubs and gay events and to post better pictures on my online profiles, but i also recoginzed that i didn't like my body and wanted to look better to feel better. Now, it took 1 full year (yea, there's no magic pill to lose 30lbs) it took time and effort, but i went from being 5'8" and 210lbs (38"waist) to 5'8"..150lbs...29" waist. I've kept the weight off because i learned how to eat smaller portions, some moderate excercise (i hate teh gym so had to do other things for excercise), and know when to push myself away from the table and make smart diet choices (no more 2 big mac lunches and a bucket of chicken for dinner).
I'm not directing this specifically to Gavjg, but more so to the gay men out there of all ages and sizes, that being fit and healthy is a key part of overall happiness! It's got great side-benefits too...so, just condider your options and go for it. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time and you'll get there - and you'll feel and look better for it!
Oh, and to those who say we should just accept everyone for who they are phycically: BUNK! Our bodies were not designed to carry 30, 40, 50+ pounds of extra weight. Are there medical reasons for being bigger, sure, but 95% of obesity is caused by lifestyle/diet choices. CHOOSE HEALTH!
Sorry for being so abrupt, but i WAS obese and you can do it!
Or, you can do as other's have posted, and go to places where being older and larger isn't an issue. I've lived in 7 states in my life and in every city i lived in, there were groups/bars/clubs where older/larger men hung out.
All that said, i have to also address the issue of self-pity/loathing among so many of the older/heavier men. They give up on changing their lifestyle. They are attracted to fitter men, but make no REAL effort to get in shape, excercise and change their diet to get fit. Look, if for no other reason than to get healthy, make the decision to become more healthy. Yes, there are men who are attracted to heavy guys, but in the US, the #1 killer of people complications from obesity: High blood pressure, heart attacks, diabeties, strokes, etc.
NO, you don't have to become a muscle stud, but losing weight and getting in shape is good for your mind AND body. It all starts with having a positive self-image, and i know first hand, because i was obese a long time ago.
Some of you may have read my posts in the pasts about how when i came out i was 70lbs overweight. I figured out immediatly that i had let myself go and that i had to change my lifestyle. Yes, part of my motivation was to be able to turn heads at bars and clubs and gay events and to post better pictures on my online profiles, but i also recoginzed that i didn't like my body and wanted to look better to feel better. Now, it took 1 full year (yea, there's no magic pill to lose 30lbs) it took time and effort, but i went from being 5'8" and 210lbs (38"waist) to 5'8"..150lbs...29" waist. I've kept the weight off because i learned how to eat smaller portions, some moderate excercise (i hate teh gym so had to do other things for excercise), and know when to push myself away from the table and make smart diet choices (no more 2 big mac lunches and a bucket of chicken for dinner).
I'm not directing this specifically to Gavjg, but more so to the gay men out there of all ages and sizes, that being fit and healthy is a key part of overall happiness! It's got great side-benefits too...so, just condider your options and go for it. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time and you'll get there - and you'll feel and look better for it!
Oh, and to those who say we should just accept everyone for who they are phycically: BUNK! Our bodies were not designed to carry 30, 40, 50+ pounds of extra weight. Are there medical reasons for being bigger, sure, but 95% of obesity is caused by lifestyle/diet choices. CHOOSE HEALTH!
Sorry for being so abrupt, but i WAS obese and you can do it!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
