10-01-2012, 06:19 PM
The first problem here is that there is this fairy-tale myth that romantic love/passionate love is the only kind of love there is.
There are stages to love. http://www.google.com/#hl=en&output=sear...23&bih=856
Our society is sick and twisted and has this 'romantic' (insane really) view that love that is true is strong and passionate forever. The reality is that that passionate love is fleeting and is replaced with a more mellow, accepting, form of love that doesn't feel as strongly, but feels much deeper.
You kids (20-somethings) tend to fall for the Fairy-tale Ending. This is largely due to all of those fairy-tales where everyone lives happily-ever after. It is also due to how readily our parents throw in the towel and get a divorce because you see they fell for the lie as well.
So now we have a whole generation who is unwilling or unable to actually work toward a life-long partnership (all marriage is about partnership, not love).
These guys you are dating and getting involved with are confused by what society paints as 'true love' and what they are feeling. They think that they are doing you a disservice thus believe there is someone better for you (and for them) as they go on to look for 'true love' when no one knows what that is.
Study up on the stages of love. Get a firm understanding of what you face, then be prepared to train your next lover in what love is really all about.
Most of us do not figure it out until our 30's, thus the higher rate of divorce for 20-somethings and first time marriages.
Around 30 we have enough real-time experience were we lower our expectations into something more along the lines of reality.
You can by-pass all of that by just doing a bit of study.
There are stages to love. http://www.google.com/#hl=en&output=sear...23&bih=856
Our society is sick and twisted and has this 'romantic' (insane really) view that love that is true is strong and passionate forever. The reality is that that passionate love is fleeting and is replaced with a more mellow, accepting, form of love that doesn't feel as strongly, but feels much deeper.
You kids (20-somethings) tend to fall for the Fairy-tale Ending. This is largely due to all of those fairy-tales where everyone lives happily-ever after. It is also due to how readily our parents throw in the towel and get a divorce because you see they fell for the lie as well.
So now we have a whole generation who is unwilling or unable to actually work toward a life-long partnership (all marriage is about partnership, not love).
These guys you are dating and getting involved with are confused by what society paints as 'true love' and what they are feeling. They think that they are doing you a disservice thus believe there is someone better for you (and for them) as they go on to look for 'true love' when no one knows what that is.
Study up on the stages of love. Get a firm understanding of what you face, then be prepared to train your next lover in what love is really all about.
Most of us do not figure it out until our 30's, thus the higher rate of divorce for 20-somethings and first time marriages.
Around 30 we have enough real-time experience were we lower our expectations into something more along the lines of reality.
You can by-pass all of that by just doing a bit of study.
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