10-01-2012, 07:00 PM
It's odd, AlwaysImagine, because from reading the beginning of your post, I wouldn't have said that you were shy and introverted... you come across as quite the opposite. Maybe it's because you are introverted that you have the capacity to analyse things quite well, and maybe it gives you a sort of shine of confidence....
How do you explain people's attraction to you if you are NOT confident? Confidence is a very attractive quality and yet you seem to be saying that you don't possess it?
Where's the discrepancy?
I know for a fact that extremely shy people can sometimes extrovert themselves and almost become someone else, looking the very image of stability and confidence while inside they have a hard time overcoming these feelings of insecurity... I don't know how they do it, but they do.
Are you one of these people?
Can you point out what it is that people like about you and that they find attractive? Is it your wit? Your intelligence? Your kindness? Your interest in them?
What attracts YOU in another person? Maybe you are getting into the wrong relationships precisely because down deep inside you don't feel that you can allow yourself to be happy with these partners. You make it sound as if they are the ones feeling inadequate, so are you overcompensating your insecurities to the point that you're projecting the wrong image of who you really are? Do you need to start expressing your humanity more? Do you need to start looking less ''perfect''? Or do your previous partners really need to better themselves till they feel they are entitled? It's easy for gay people to feel inadequate and to ''hate'' themselves, partially or totally , but the secret is to find enough confidence to look happy and really BE happy at the same time.
One last question: Who, in your entourage (family or friends, or enemies?) sees you for what you think you really are? Are there any who read you like an open book?
How do you explain people's attraction to you if you are NOT confident? Confidence is a very attractive quality and yet you seem to be saying that you don't possess it?
Where's the discrepancy?
I know for a fact that extremely shy people can sometimes extrovert themselves and almost become someone else, looking the very image of stability and confidence while inside they have a hard time overcoming these feelings of insecurity... I don't know how they do it, but they do.
Are you one of these people?
Can you point out what it is that people like about you and that they find attractive? Is it your wit? Your intelligence? Your kindness? Your interest in them?
What attracts YOU in another person? Maybe you are getting into the wrong relationships precisely because down deep inside you don't feel that you can allow yourself to be happy with these partners. You make it sound as if they are the ones feeling inadequate, so are you overcompensating your insecurities to the point that you're projecting the wrong image of who you really are? Do you need to start expressing your humanity more? Do you need to start looking less ''perfect''? Or do your previous partners really need to better themselves till they feel they are entitled? It's easy for gay people to feel inadequate and to ''hate'' themselves, partially or totally , but the secret is to find enough confidence to look happy and really BE happy at the same time.
One last question: Who, in your entourage (family or friends, or enemies?) sees you for what you think you really are? Are there any who read you like an open book?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
