Need a new perspective

[princealbertofb]

The first problem here is that there is this fairy-tale myth that romantic love/passionate love is the only kind of love there is.

...
Around 30 we have enough real-time experience were we lower our expectations into something more along the lines of reality.

You can by-pass all of that by just doing a bit of study.

Bowyn, I'm not going to post your post again but abridge it slighly, because, on the whole, I know what you're saying and I daresay it is true, up to a point... Allow me to look at the issue in a more positive light, perhaps. (?)

If this myth of true love exists, it's because it happens, to a certain point and it's about ideals (maybe utopia). There is nothing wrong in believing that you'll find someone some day that will fulfil your expectations of what a partner should be. Admittedly, it's going to be a bit more difficult for gays to find someone, given the sheer numbers (and all the ones who won't admit that they're potential boyfriend material). It is also true that at 30 or older, our expectations are maybe more realistic, but the ideal of love is not something that must be abandoned or shunned. It would be like asking a competitive sportsman not to do their best to be the champion, wouldn't it? I'd like to say that you have to have a little (or a lot) of ambition in how your love life will turn out.

The best love partnership is something to strive for, and indeed, when you get older and wiser, you also realise that it takes work, encouragement, mutual understanding, and listening to the other, to improve the partnership, the relationship and the lives we share or just to maintain a reasonable level of mutual appreciation and comfort.

If we are talking about unending passion in love, then, yes, that tends to die out after a while, but like a plant that will first flower, then bear fruit, there is no reason why that plant shouldn't thrive. But it takes watering, nurturing, and for further plant analogies, sometimes uprooting and planting in new soil... feeding some more, watering some more etc... It's work. In time, the plant will bear leaves, flowers, and fruit and it can all start over again, if you know how to keep it alive. mile: Learning that lesson can make all the difference.