Need a new perspective

[Blue]

This sounds like a case of the initial, fiery infatuation and passion wearing of, then you, and them mistaking the loss of that for a loss of love.

I know all my ex's still care deeply for me and think the world of me

That pretty well describes long term love. Sure you can ignite something close to that initial stage with a little effort now and then - keep the passion alive but, long term love is not built form those blocks, that's the cap on the chimney as it were, not the foundation of the relationship.

Trust, respect, concern, care, camaraderie, familiar comfort, those are the things you feel with a long term partner. So where does that ideal love come in, how do we get that?

That is the rarest beast, maybe non existent for some of us. It's finding someone you can share all of yourself with, and whom can share all of themselves with you, and when all of the dark holes and sealed vaults have been opened, you still trust and care for each other with all your heart, you're still comfortable and secure with your partner, and you know they aren't going to reject you because of those hidden place only they know about in you any more than you would reject them over their hidden places.