11-07-2013, 06:23 AM
Well speaking from personal experience and my last relationship having HIV become a third wheel about 3 years into the relationship... Yeah these guys going on about not trusting a person may have a good reason to go on about it.
My ex and I both tested negative when he moved in, we did it the safe route, wore condoms for three months, got tested again, both of us were negative.... we both decided to stop buying condoms. Then came the day nearly three years into our relationship when he comes home and tells me he failed the test.
Fortunately I was the top in that relationship thus was at far less risk than being a bottom. I still sweated bullets for years after with the Antibody test and such a wide margin of error on it. Even with the first RNA test I wasn't relieved - it took two more (total of three) before I could breath a sigh of relief on that score.
It wouldn't be until year 8 of our relationship (about 5 years after coming home with HIV) they he came out and admitted he had sex with a positive guy while in a relationship with me (around the 18 month mark).
So yeah, getting tested really doesn't mean squat. And trust and belief in what a person tells you only goes so far.
I would love nothing better than to believe that you have that perfect relationship where with this test you two can bareback with no problem.
I fear time has a way of undoing trust, of revealing falsehoods and other terrible things. I just hope that what happens to you is not your getting shingles and going to doctor and being tested for HIV and fail the test because the man you trusted infected you.
My ex and I both tested negative when he moved in, we did it the safe route, wore condoms for three months, got tested again, both of us were negative.... we both decided to stop buying condoms. Then came the day nearly three years into our relationship when he comes home and tells me he failed the test.
Fortunately I was the top in that relationship thus was at far less risk than being a bottom. I still sweated bullets for years after with the Antibody test and such a wide margin of error on it. Even with the first RNA test I wasn't relieved - it took two more (total of three) before I could breath a sigh of relief on that score.
It wouldn't be until year 8 of our relationship (about 5 years after coming home with HIV) they he came out and admitted he had sex with a positive guy while in a relationship with me (around the 18 month mark).
So yeah, getting tested really doesn't mean squat. And trust and belief in what a person tells you only goes so far.
I would love nothing better than to believe that you have that perfect relationship where with this test you two can bareback with no problem.
I fear time has a way of undoing trust, of revealing falsehoods and other terrible things. I just hope that what happens to you is not your getting shingles and going to doctor and being tested for HIV and fail the test because the man you trusted infected you.
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