02-17-2014, 10:37 PM
Like finding a good job, it really requires networking to find a good mate/partner.
In truth your 'confusion' over your sexuality is going to stymie you on anything like a relationship, most guys who have been around the block shy away from 'in the closet' fellows because we all know just how horrific that relationship can be.
Many gay guys refuse to do 'Straight' men (wink wink). There are many, many, many 'straight' men looking for discreet encounters - most are married, have kids, have a job and are in their 40's - all are different shades of sad....
"I'm confused" isn't going to go far to find you a decent fellow, a guy who will treat you right. You may be able to get a lot of 'just sex' encounters if you play the virgin card right.
I think you have a basic understanding that Sex and Relationships are two vastly different experiences.
A one night stand has no commitment, and lets face it as long as you are disease free you're a good fuck - no matter how messed up in the head you are. No commitment, I won't have to see you the next day, I won't have to fit my life into your messed up world. So go, be a nut case and be happy, just as long as tonight I get off (maybe you too - IDK, don't care either) and you don't try to kill me.
Relationships... You best better know what it is you want in life. No one is going to want to invest their heart to a person who doesn't know what they want. No one is going to take the risk of having their heart ripped out of their chest, thrown to the ground and then have the other jump up and down on that tender organ.
Your current 'I need to test the waters first before I decide....' attitude does not make you relationship material. The good fuck - maybe, the potential husband, no.
Being Gay or Bi is not just about sex, its about all of the other attending emotions and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Its about other forms of intimacy, about cleaving your heart with that of another...
You asked: "Is my attraction to guys real or all in my head/penis?"
The simple answer is yes. However that applies to every human being who gets involved with another. Relationships are part of evolutionary drives to insure the survival of the DNA. Love of a lover is just so you can have lots of sex, procreate and stick with them when that parasite screams at 3 AM or vomits all over you or lays there demanding that you do everything for it (infants are the ultimate in selfishness).
So there is this whole social structure that has developed, with emotions designed to insure the survival of the DNA and all of that is a bio-chemical process which predominately takes place in the head. Yeah I know, when in love it feels like its coming from the chest - well it ain't, its all of these terrible chemicals mucking up the logic centers of your brain.
As for those lesbians, well go make friends with them. Lesbians often know of other gay men. Its networking.
In truth your 'confusion' over your sexuality is going to stymie you on anything like a relationship, most guys who have been around the block shy away from 'in the closet' fellows because we all know just how horrific that relationship can be.
Many gay guys refuse to do 'Straight' men (wink wink). There are many, many, many 'straight' men looking for discreet encounters - most are married, have kids, have a job and are in their 40's - all are different shades of sad....
"I'm confused" isn't going to go far to find you a decent fellow, a guy who will treat you right. You may be able to get a lot of 'just sex' encounters if you play the virgin card right.
I think you have a basic understanding that Sex and Relationships are two vastly different experiences.
A one night stand has no commitment, and lets face it as long as you are disease free you're a good fuck - no matter how messed up in the head you are. No commitment, I won't have to see you the next day, I won't have to fit my life into your messed up world. So go, be a nut case and be happy, just as long as tonight I get off (maybe you too - IDK, don't care either) and you don't try to kill me.
Relationships... You best better know what it is you want in life. No one is going to want to invest their heart to a person who doesn't know what they want. No one is going to take the risk of having their heart ripped out of their chest, thrown to the ground and then have the other jump up and down on that tender organ.
Your current 'I need to test the waters first before I decide....' attitude does not make you relationship material. The good fuck - maybe, the potential husband, no.
Being Gay or Bi is not just about sex, its about all of the other attending emotions and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Its about other forms of intimacy, about cleaving your heart with that of another...
You asked: "Is my attraction to guys real or all in my head/penis?"
The simple answer is yes. However that applies to every human being who gets involved with another. Relationships are part of evolutionary drives to insure the survival of the DNA. Love of a lover is just so you can have lots of sex, procreate and stick with them when that parasite screams at 3 AM or vomits all over you or lays there demanding that you do everything for it (infants are the ultimate in selfishness).
So there is this whole social structure that has developed, with emotions designed to insure the survival of the DNA and all of that is a bio-chemical process which predominately takes place in the head. Yeah I know, when in love it feels like its coming from the chest - well it ain't, its all of these terrible chemicals mucking up the logic centers of your brain.
As for those lesbians, well go make friends with them. Lesbians often know of other gay men. Its networking.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
