On the bright side there are potentials here....

[Lycanthropist]

*snip*

7. Lastly, since I haven't done a funeral as a single desperate old queen who is painfully aware that the days ahead are far fewer than the days behind... Should I express how this recent death has reminded me of how old I really am (not the age I claim to be) and is is appropriate to add that I feel that I will never find love and die an old bitter queen?

Not if you're giving the eulogy.

Lastly, if you could refrain from typing out my innermost thoughts, that'd be great. Thanks!