Online Dating

[MikeW]

Hi guys...
... I'm a huge freshman to the whole world of dating (as mentioned previously) and I haven't paid a huge amount of attention to it til now.

So when talking to a guy online, how exactly would I go about doing it? The last guy I talked to and actually ended up meeting we sort of got to know each other a little bit too well before we met, so when we met in person everything sort of escalated rather quickly because we got most of the awkward stuff out of the way beforehand through chatting and Skyping.

Needless to say I don't want that to happen again....

I'm really not understanding what you mean by this "when we met in person everything sort of escalated rather quickly because we got most of the awkward stuff out of the way beforehand." What's wrong with getting the awkward stuff out of the way beforehand? I'm not following.

If things "escalated rather quickly," again, I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying you immediately hopped into bed together and that was a bad thing? I don't get it.

As someone who hasn't dated in the current century, err, millennium, and may very well never date again, and has no idea how to date using "apps" or any of that stuff.... I have to ask:

What does "dating" MEAN to you? What's the point of "dating" anyone? Why do it?

I'm not so much asking because I need to know. But YOU do need to know. So, my advice is you give this some thought. Don't assume that everyone you meet, online or IRL, has the same AGENDA you do when they use the word "dating". They very likely do not. But if you know what YOU mean by it, what YOU want to have happen (and not happen), that right there should be a pretty good guide as to what to do or not do, what to say and not.

I think what [MENTION=22879]kindy64[/MENTION] said is very interesting. IF what you're wanting is a capital R "Relationship"... keep in mind that those kinds of things have to EVOLVE out of your genuine feelings for someone... who feels the same about you. Part of it for sure is finding them attractive but there's WAY more to it than that. One has to be READY to have that kind of relationship.

My point being that at age 18 the chances of finding someone your own age, or near it, who is also ready for a "R" relationship is very slim. You may think you're ready... but really? Are you?

There's NOTHING wrong with being a young person who is "dating"... going out with other people... to have fun, get to know them, find out more about yourself, what you like and don't like... becoming more of a full-grown adult. Nothing at all wrong with it. But it doesn't HAVE to be "dating". A "R" relationship can evolve out of meeting someone totally by chance. Or it can evolve out of just hooking up with someone. Or it could be someone you meet through school or work or some sport you like to participate in. WHO KNOWS?

Keeping open to just meeting people, respecting them, getting to know them, letting them get to know you... to me that's all there is to it. THEN... if you meet someone you want to get to know better... THEN you can "date".

Prior to that even calling what you're doing "dating" (to my mind) kind of puts one under pressure. OH... I have to do this right!

Well, no, actually you don't.

But like I say, WTF do I know anyway?