Scared

[TwisttheLeaf]

There's a predatory element of gay culture ...

It kind of sounds like what you're really afraid of is coming out. So afraid that even associating with other gays sets your mind racing to all sort of "what if" scenarios.

Simple truth, you're going to need to be financially independent before you even think about coming out. You don't have to do anything right now. There are a lot of things you'll need to consider over time, but first you need to get a grip.

It might help for you to just hang out here a bit, talk to people, learn about the rest uf us, our lives and our issues. Talk to us. Maybe you'll start to feel more comfortable. Take it slowly. Relax.

^^ What he said. ALL of that. At the moment, you don't really have the option of coming out, so you need to take a deep breath and get your situation in order before you even start worrying about that part of things, yeah?

That said, Gemini is right. The people here in GS are (with one or two exceptions) NOT the predatory type. Many are hooked up or married, most are pretty laid back. This might be a good place to learn not all gay guys are out to get your pants undone.

Originally Posted by Gemini
and some dude in a club who greets me by saying he'd love to see my lips around his dick - WTF do I say to that?

Originally Posted by meridannight
I wouldn't know what to say to that either. That is no way to start a conversation with a man you like.

Lots of potential, guys.

- Snort and give them a smirk and a "you wish".
- Lift an eyebrow and say something like "well, aren't you the eager one, eh?"
- Rake your eyes over them and shake your head with an "uhhh, No"
- Rake your eyes over them then give a shrug and a "Yeah, sure" (only if you're interested, of course).
- Tell them "Sorry, but I don't suck strangers."
- Smirk and tell them "Really? I think you've got things a bit backwards, because I was thinking the same thing about your throat" then walk away.
- Give a chuckle and a dismissive "Nice try, man."

I could go on all night.