Im not sure if its ok to get a girlfriend

[Insertnamehere]

I understand being closeted (I am myself) and all the reasons why you are. You get absolutely no judgement for that on my part.

But, let me tell you one thing.

Far too often in this forum we get the story of the 40-50 year old man/woman who just can't take it anymore, can't hide it in because it has become unbareable. Turns out, though, that earlier, in order to build a facade, he/she married, he/she had children. Care to guess how messy that situation becomes? Care to guess how miserable a life he/she lead? Care to guess what happens to the other party who was pretty much deceived for years?

Don't do that. Just don't. No person deserves to be lured into a lie on account of you.

The thing is, first, that you would be involving someone else into this mess who is not responsible for anything, someone who sooner or later will be hurt by you because of it. And that hurt will have multiple aspects. "he lied to me", "he is leaving me", etc.

The second aspect is that you won't be able to keep the facade going on forever. It will being to erode you, you will feel like shit. Eventually it WILL explode in your face and things will be worse.

Again, I'm not saying that you should blatanly come out right where you are, because as you say, the environment that sorrounds you is not the friendliest. But don't give into this pressure.

Quite frankly, straight, gay or bi no one should have a say in the amount of dating you do or don't do. Even if you were straight and for some reason you don't date, people don't get a say in that. My sister is straight and she doesn't get into relationships because she enjoys her freedom and her career way too much.

I would agree with you in your later idea. Moving out to this new place and starting from scratch so to speak is better. Even when this happens, not everyone needs to know. The people back at Georgia don't need to know either. Be smart about it.

All the best to you man. You sound kick ass and I'm pretty sure you can find your bit of happiness.