My girlfriend was super mean when I tried to break up with her.

[Jesicca333]

I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m a lesbian, but my ex-girlfriend told me I’m Asexual. She told me she was Asexual too. Then the other night she did some things that made it quite clear she was not Asexual and then she ended up slapping me when I told her to stop touching me. I decided to break up with her just now and she got so mad at me. She started screaming that I would never be able to find anyone else who would put up with me and my weird aversion to sex. Then she smacked me and just kept hitting me over and over again. I elbowed her in the face and tried to get away but she just threw me on her bed and pinned me down and kept telling me that I was a freak and no one would ever want me and tons of other mean names. Then she started taking my clothes off and I just started crying. She started laughing and called me a cry baby and a tease. When she started to take off my jeans I was able to knee her in the stomach and hit her over the head with a lamp so she wouldn't come after me. Then I screamed at her telling her that she was the most horrible person ever. I feel kind of bad about that part but I just didn't know what else to do. I feel like what I did made me just as abusive as her. Oh my gosh it was so horrible! I don’t understand any of it! I don’t ever want to date anyone ever again!!! In any case, I have left a ton of my stuff over her house over the course of our relationship and I can’t go back there to get it, I just can’t. I don’t know how to get it back and I don’t know how to keep her away from me for good. I should have just gone over, taken my stuff home, then broken up with her via text I'm so stupid. My last boyfriend harassed me for four years after we broke up. That was awful too. But I threatened him with a restraining order and that seemed to do the trick. Should I do the same with her? I suppose I could tell my parents. I don’t know that my mom would believe me but I think my dad might. I don’t know what to do

[TwisttheLeaf]

Self defense during the act of being raped is different than being an abuser. And considering she was in the process of beating the crap out of you and removing your clothes, I'd say rape is exactly where things were going.

You will need to go back and get your things, but DO NOT go back alone. Bring a friend (and witness) with you. DO NOT allow her apologies and begging to get you to change your mind, either. She's clearly abusive as fuck and doesn't deserve you.

If she continues to harass you after you have collected your things, a restraining order is a good idea.

[Laysh]

That's pretty heavy. I highly suggest getting a friend to go with you or if its small stuff have them pick it up for you if its all possible.

[Beaux]

I am absolutely leaving this alone....smh....fool me once...

[Cuddly]

Seems you don't need balls to get blueballed.

Were you being a manipulative, teasing prude? Probably.
Does that give her permission to beat you and attempt to rape you? Definately not.

Did you leave anything of significant value at her place? If not, then I'd just abandon it with her.

As for your desire to have a platonic relationship, I have no solution. Most of us are driven by our sexual desires and I believe that is particularly true for homosexuals. One wouldn't go through the entire "coming out" or self-identification process if one weren't interested in sex anyway, right?

Sounds like what you need is a roommate. Or a cat. Possibly both.

[AceGuy]

Seems you don't need balls to get blueballed.

Were you being a manipulative, teasing prude? Probably.
Does that give her permission to beat you and attempt to rape you? Definately not.

Did you leave anything of significant value at her place? If not, then I'd just abandon it with her.

As for your desire to have a platonic relationship, I have no solution. Most of us are driven by our sexual desires and I believe that is particularly true for homosexuals. One wouldn't go through the entire "coming out" or self-identification process if one weren't interested in sex anyway, right?

Sounds like what you need is a roommate. Or a cat. Possibly both.

I do not think that the OP identifies as asexual, but a lot of people do myself included. . An asexual is someone who does not feel any sexual attraction. Asexuality is a sexual orientation and like any other is just the way you were made. Asexuals can experience romantic and aesthetic attraction however. So, you could find someone to be handsome/ beautiful and want to form relationships but with no or little desire to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone; though some asexuals don’t feel those forms of attraction either.

Asexuals are not prudes for not having sex any more than gay people are immoral for having sex with the same gender.

[AceGuy]

I can not believe that she would have reacted like that. I am an open asexual, why would she have thought that you are Ace? And why would she have said that she was Ace too only to sexually assault you like that?

[Jesicca333]

That's exactly what I was thinking! It doesn't make any sense to me. She thought I was Asexual because I don't like sex. She told me she didn't like it either. I really don't understand.

[Rareboy]

I sense that you may get yourself involved in volatile relationships with unstable people.

This break-up is one for the books.

Hope you get your shit back and are able to move on to a healthy, stable relationship.

[MikeW]