Im not sure if its ok to get a girlfriend

[TwisttheLeaf]

I dont think you guys understand what Im trying to say. Im saying that maybe Im only gay in a purely sexual sense, its just my little peccadillo. Like I said my relationships with men have only ever been sexual and niether of us ever said we were gay. The guy I was having a fling with for 6 months used to say " this doesn't make us fags" his words not mine I know fag is an offensive word. What I meant by saying that it was a mistake was maybe Im not really gay, Im just a little confused. I love everything else about women, I like taking them out and spending time with them. I love the way they look and I'd like to have a wife and children little one day. Its like I said Ive had girlfriends and it wasnt that bad I enjoyed every part, I loved date nights and just having somebody to watch tv with or just to hangout with and the sex that wasnt terrible I could perform when I needed to. I know you can be in love with somebody that you are not sexually attracted to I had a friend and we were always together for two years and I just loved to be around him and we were apart I was so sad, he ended up getting married and he moved away and I was just devastated, but it was platonic love, nothing sexual ever happened, and I was head over heels in love with him. Isnt it possible that I could meet a woman and we could share that same kind of love. We all do things for the people we love that we dont like doing and I think I could be monogamous. I wouldnt ask her to tell me everything about her past I think everyone should be allowed to have some secrets. As long as I treat her good and do my best to love her from the time I meet her. I dont want to make some poor girl into a victim. The lesbian idea is ok, but how would I even do that, I cant just walk into the local lesbian clubhouse and say hey girls who wants a possibly gay roomate/ lavender marriage. Where would I even meet a girl like that?
Like I said I live a traditionally / stereotypically straight lifestyle and I love the idea of a traditional family. Might my preference for men be similar to some guys liking different types of women.

IMO, you sound bisexual with a heavy dose of self hatred towards the part of you interested in men.

Only you can determine how happy you can be building a life with a woman. Just as long as you are keeping your integrity intact, yeah?

That said, from everything you've written, the lesbian option still seems a better option for you from my perspective. There's women out there looking for that arrangement, just as there are men doing the same. Try a dating site, yeah? No reason you can't say that for discretion sake you'll only provide pics prior to meeting or whatever.