Im not sure if its ok to get a girlfriend

[meridannight]

meridannight the reason I can have that with a man is, its not the way I planned it when I was a kid. It sounds silly I know, I like sticking to my plans

Well, then I'm out of arguments. You want to go with what the 5-7-...-year-old you dreamed of even though your brain wasn't even fully developed back then and by the age 27 you should be a grown man capable of differentiating between what was a childhood uninformed fancy and what is a real desire. How can one argue with a mindset like that?

I don't mean to be demeaning toward you (I do think it's good that you're on this forum talking about it), but you're making it kind of hard to do otherwise. When I was a kid I wanted to become a soldier. When I grew up I discovered it did not fit in with my plans for my life. I had no problem dropping that juvenile idea.

What exactly do you want me to say to that anyway? Me and the other guys have given you fully decent advice, and you don't even disagree. But you come out with these completely childish arguments along 'I-can't-do-that-because-when-I-was-a-kid-I-wanted-the-opposite'. So you don't want to be happy, you don't want to make other people happy, you hold on to some abstract juvenile thoughts as your guide in life, and then you say you don't want to look weak at the same time. It's completely ridiculous.

These are all just lame excuses for not taking your real desires seriously. Because you're afraid to do that. Because if you allow yourself any of that you know that those desires inside you will win and you have nothing left but to follow them unquestionably into the life that is unknown and scary to you right now.