03-28-2017, 01:47 PM
My two cents worth...
I think that there is always a social element which impacts the individual and whether or not they feel supported enough to come out.
My personal circumstance was to be from a working class, largely homophobic Irish and Scots family, maybe some of the comments were throw away, but growing up in that background I found that I'd do anything to avoid being seen as a 'shirt lifter' or a 'fruit'.
Going to a largely working class school in London in the early 90s when 'homosexuality' was still not allowed to be discussed, some educational clause or other, being surrounded, by people that looked down on anyone that was considered intelligent or perceived as gay, made me even more determined to be straight in that working class environment.
I think that these are powerful influences and can determine how you deal with your sexuality. Being Bi, I got by with girlfriends but my sexuality is very fluid and sometimes it's all about emotional and sexual attraction to guys, at those times I used get very depressed. I still do if I'm honest. I often wonder if women are 'pretty' or 'cute' but guys are 'sexy'. But I guess that's a whole other issue I guess.
In another set of posts there is a debate about 'types' of gay guys, and the wider the spectrum of LGBT people out there the more this will help. I think that sport has a big part to play here. Particularly as it is such a big part of many societies and can be very homophobic. A guy I greatly admire is Gareth Thomas, Welsh rugby player, he came out as gay whilst at the top of his game as he couldn't take it anymore. I think that more working class guys would come out with more Gareth Thomas's as role models.
So in terms of internalized homophobia, it's always been about me rather than other people. I've always been accepting of other people's sexuality, but not my own, I link that back to my social context. I've met some great guys over the years but stopped short of trying to start intimate relationships with them.
Quite a long post, but I feel that internal homophobia is something that I've experienced. This is my truth. Hopefully I won't be judged too harshly.
I think that there is always a social element which impacts the individual and whether or not they feel supported enough to come out.
My personal circumstance was to be from a working class, largely homophobic Irish and Scots family, maybe some of the comments were throw away, but growing up in that background I found that I'd do anything to avoid being seen as a 'shirt lifter' or a 'fruit'.
Going to a largely working class school in London in the early 90s when 'homosexuality' was still not allowed to be discussed, some educational clause or other, being surrounded, by people that looked down on anyone that was considered intelligent or perceived as gay, made me even more determined to be straight in that working class environment.
I think that these are powerful influences and can determine how you deal with your sexuality. Being Bi, I got by with girlfriends but my sexuality is very fluid and sometimes it's all about emotional and sexual attraction to guys, at those times I used get very depressed. I still do if I'm honest. I often wonder if women are 'pretty' or 'cute' but guys are 'sexy'. But I guess that's a whole other issue I guess.
In another set of posts there is a debate about 'types' of gay guys, and the wider the spectrum of LGBT people out there the more this will help. I think that sport has a big part to play here. Particularly as it is such a big part of many societies and can be very homophobic. A guy I greatly admire is Gareth Thomas, Welsh rugby player, he came out as gay whilst at the top of his game as he couldn't take it anymore. I think that more working class guys would come out with more Gareth Thomas's as role models.
So in terms of internalized homophobia, it's always been about me rather than other people. I've always been accepting of other people's sexuality, but not my own, I link that back to my social context. I've met some great guys over the years but stopped short of trying to start intimate relationships with them.
Quite a long post, but I feel that internal homophobia is something that I've experienced. This is my truth. Hopefully I won't be judged too harshly.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
