12-01-2016, 06:54 PM
I'm speaking on this because I have been through the same thing in the last year and I honestly believe that everyone on this forum has been through a similar thing in a similar, if not exact, scenario. This is an EXTREMELY difficult situation and no matter what decision you end up making will be hard.
The biggest thing you can do is make the decision to either leave completely or get over the feelings and become friends and dash away any hopes or desires of being anything more. I had these exact feelings for a guy. We became friends I wanted more and he was never ready then he crushed me by running away with an ex of his. Throughout the entirety of my friendship with him, I posted on here and almost everyone said the same thing I have already told you. That you either have to be comfortable being friends or you have to cut ties.
I naively thought that things would progress and I ignored both of those. I tried to be friends and I tried to get rid of any hopes and expectation but I could not and now I am dealing with all the "what could have been" thoughts even though I know I will never be with him. The worst part is that I think I lost him as a friend too which hurts even more.
So in summary, talk to him and let him know where you are coming from (if that is an option). If you do not want to disappear on him then let him know that but also let him know that you will likely need some time to work through some underlying feelings that can and will affect your friendship at some point if you do not address them (again, speaking from personal experience). If you don't think you can overcome those feelings and set them aside, the best thing for both of you is to tell him you cannot be around him and need time to separate yourself from him. I wish I had taken that route, if I had, I might still have a good friend in my life.
Expectations is the root of all heartache
The biggest thing you can do is make the decision to either leave completely or get over the feelings and become friends and dash away any hopes or desires of being anything more. I had these exact feelings for a guy. We became friends I wanted more and he was never ready then he crushed me by running away with an ex of his. Throughout the entirety of my friendship with him, I posted on here and almost everyone said the same thing I have already told you. That you either have to be comfortable being friends or you have to cut ties.
I naively thought that things would progress and I ignored both of those. I tried to be friends and I tried to get rid of any hopes and expectation but I could not and now I am dealing with all the "what could have been" thoughts even though I know I will never be with him. The worst part is that I think I lost him as a friend too which hurts even more.
So in summary, talk to him and let him know where you are coming from (if that is an option). If you do not want to disappear on him then let him know that but also let him know that you will likely need some time to work through some underlying feelings that can and will affect your friendship at some point if you do not address them (again, speaking from personal experience). If you don't think you can overcome those feelings and set them aside, the best thing for both of you is to tell him you cannot be around him and need time to separate yourself from him. I wish I had taken that route, if I had, I might still have a good friend in my life.
Expectations is the root of all heartache
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