Ok, this is a bit of a rant and for it to make sense I need to give you some bcak-story:
I workout at the UC Berkeley gym. It varies but currently I'm there about five days a week. Working out is very important to me. I'm not exaggerating too much when I say it is THE most fun I have on a regular basis. I look forward to going and I'm always there more or less at the same time... early morning. The reason for that is it is a very busy gym. Summer it is less so, as there are fewer students around, but during the regular school year it is insanely busy.
The locker room is huge, sort of like a maze. To give you an idea, my locker is #4145 . Most of the lockers the students use are quarter or half lockers, day use only. Mine is a full locker and I pay an extra $20 a month to rent it, and have for the past four years.
Alright, so, for the most part I don't go to the gym to socialize. I go there to workout. That's not to say I *never* interact with people, I do, but it is more the exception than the rule. That said, there are a few guys (from college age to 80+) who have permanent lockers near mine. Some are there often at the same time I am, and I've gotten to know a few of them. We're "locker neighbors" and occasionally get into in-passing conversations about one thing or another.
That said, there are OTHER men who are there often at the same time but not as close by that I NEVER speak with.
Alright so today I decided to say something to one of those men. He's there just about every day I'm there at more or less the same time but we've never said one word to one another for four years. But today I was in a good mood... I'd actually had a good conversation with one of the young body builders on the workout floor earlier so I was feeling "on"... so to say.
So this man, mid 40s I'd guess, waked by wrapped in his towel having just come from th shower and I asked him, "What is the Squash Club?" I don't know anything about this guy but i see him in the Squash Club facility a lot so I figure he must know something about it.
Well... he just ignored me. Being someone who doesn't hear well, I thought maybe he didn't hear my question so I just moved around a bit closer to him and was waiting for him to finish fiddling with his locker lock. He turned to me and said, "I want to be left alone and I don't need an audience from (something I didn't clearly hear) about (something I didn't clearly hear). !!!!
Well, I just turned around and walked away, went back to my locker and finished doing what I was doing.
Now I know damn well that whatever this man's problem was, it had nothing to do with me. He was having a bad day or WTF ever. That I'm totally clear about.
But what bothers me is this: I FIND MYSELF OBSESSING ABOUT THIS. It is very difficult for me to "let go" of a situation like this. TBH he pissed me off. He was (IMO) rude to me for no good reason (so far as I'm concerned). But the thing is, at the moment he said what he did, I din't say anything (snotty or otherwise) back to him. SO... I'm "STUCK" with this feeling of irritation at this guy.
WORSE... I know I'm going to see him almost every time I go to the gym. This sucks because TO ME, as I said, going to the gym is sort of THE most "fun" thing I do. It is a very important part of my day. The thought that I'm going to have to share the same air-space with this joker on a regular basis really has me upset.
I mean, we all have these little "annoying" encounters with strangers at times. But mostly we can just pass them off because we know we'll never run into that person again, or very rarely.
But in this instance, that's definitely not the case. I'd say nine times out of ten that I go to the gym, he's going to be there at the same time I am. The only way I can avoid that is IF I decide to totally change my workout schedule... and I sure as hell am not going to do THAT!
SO... I need some help here. This is a very minor thing on one level. Its just that I'm going to see this guy over and over.. and I know me... every time I see him I'm going to remember this slight and its going to get me pissed off all over again.
SO... how would you handle this? Specifically, what would you do to LET GO of it and move on... not just "in words" but truly, in your emotions, so when you saw this guy you went right back to feeling nothing... just as you had before?
I workout at the UC Berkeley gym. It varies but currently I'm there about five days a week. Working out is very important to me. I'm not exaggerating too much when I say it is THE most fun I have on a regular basis. I look forward to going and I'm always there more or less at the same time... early morning. The reason for that is it is a very busy gym. Summer it is less so, as there are fewer students around, but during the regular school year it is insanely busy.
The locker room is huge, sort of like a maze. To give you an idea, my locker is #4145 . Most of the lockers the students use are quarter or half lockers, day use only. Mine is a full locker and I pay an extra $20 a month to rent it, and have for the past four years.
Alright, so, for the most part I don't go to the gym to socialize. I go there to workout. That's not to say I *never* interact with people, I do, but it is more the exception than the rule. That said, there are a few guys (from college age to 80+) who have permanent lockers near mine. Some are there often at the same time I am, and I've gotten to know a few of them. We're "locker neighbors" and occasionally get into in-passing conversations about one thing or another.
That said, there are OTHER men who are there often at the same time but not as close by that I NEVER speak with.
Alright so today I decided to say something to one of those men. He's there just about every day I'm there at more or less the same time but we've never said one word to one another for four years. But today I was in a good mood... I'd actually had a good conversation with one of the young body builders on the workout floor earlier so I was feeling "on"... so to say.
So this man, mid 40s I'd guess, waked by wrapped in his towel having just come from th shower and I asked him, "What is the Squash Club?" I don't know anything about this guy but i see him in the Squash Club facility a lot so I figure he must know something about it.
Well... he just ignored me. Being someone who doesn't hear well, I thought maybe he didn't hear my question so I just moved around a bit closer to him and was waiting for him to finish fiddling with his locker lock. He turned to me and said, "I want to be left alone and I don't need an audience from (something I didn't clearly hear) about (something I didn't clearly hear). !!!!
Well, I just turned around and walked away, went back to my locker and finished doing what I was doing.
Now I know damn well that whatever this man's problem was, it had nothing to do with me. He was having a bad day or WTF ever. That I'm totally clear about.
But what bothers me is this: I FIND MYSELF OBSESSING ABOUT THIS. It is very difficult for me to "let go" of a situation like this. TBH he pissed me off. He was (IMO) rude to me for no good reason (so far as I'm concerned). But the thing is, at the moment he said what he did, I din't say anything (snotty or otherwise) back to him. SO... I'm "STUCK" with this feeling of irritation at this guy.
WORSE... I know I'm going to see him almost every time I go to the gym. This sucks because TO ME, as I said, going to the gym is sort of THE most "fun" thing I do. It is a very important part of my day. The thought that I'm going to have to share the same air-space with this joker on a regular basis really has me upset.
I mean, we all have these little "annoying" encounters with strangers at times. But mostly we can just pass them off because we know we'll never run into that person again, or very rarely.
But in this instance, that's definitely not the case. I'd say nine times out of ten that I go to the gym, he's going to be there at the same time I am. The only way I can avoid that is IF I decide to totally change my workout schedule... and I sure as hell am not going to do THAT!
SO... I need some help here. This is a very minor thing on one level. Its just that I'm going to see this guy over and over.. and I know me... every time I see him I'm going to remember this slight and its going to get me pissed off all over again.
SO... how would you handle this? Specifically, what would you do to LET GO of it and move on... not just "in words" but truly, in your emotions, so when you saw this guy you went right back to feeling nothing... just as you had before?
.