Can we still be friends?

[pman117]

Well guys, I have an update about this scenario. I got an email from the guy Wednesday evening. I wish I could post it here but it would require WAY too much explanation. In summary, he apologized for "being a dick" over the last 2 months by not talking to me. He explained that he (as I predicted he would say) did it for me that he separated himself from me completely to help me get over him and start to heal. He explained that he had been in my situation before, how he tried to hold on and it messed him up further and he didn't want me to go through the same suffering. Sounds nice at face value, but I wonder if that's not just a "I'll say this to make him think I still care about him" kind of thing.

Anyway, He continued on explaining that he did develop feelings for me in part but that (as he usually pointed out) whenever he thought about "dating" me he felt I started to get too clingy, needy, etc and I let my emotions run rampant and he would have to take a step back. Of course he didn't really accept much responsibility for any of it and as usual he made it more about what I did wrong rather than what we could have done to address it.

As far as the friendship questions he did acknowledge that the email he sent me was not an invitation or declaration that we were friends at this point. Again, he explained that I should focus on me, get my head on straight and figure out what I want. He did say that if I want to be friends in the future that he would be there and willing to do so. But again, I just wonder if that's him saying what he knows i want to hear him say and whether or not he truly means that.

Regardless, it was nice to hear from him. It did supply at least a little bit of closure that I was looking for. Of course I still have questions and missing answers and I absolutely want to ask him certain questions like, "why did it take you two months to say this?" "Why do I feel like I'm still only getting partial truths from you" or "Why couldn't this discussion have happened on the day we got back from vacation?" But maybe this is a step towards that friendship which, I'll admit, won't happen tomorrow but maybe in the future.

I will proceed with caution of course and I will try not to rush things. I have no intention of being used and I really want to let him now that I'm not this naive, young kid that believes everything he says. But I know there is sometimes a time and place for everything, and sometimes there isn't. I have a couple friends that have been great support on this matter in addition to you guys. I'll be ok, eventually. I just need to get there.