Is Gayspeak Really A Safe Place?

[MikeW]

OK, you've convinced me that I made a mistake coming back here.

I won't be posting again.

My question is, how does [MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION]'s posts (that quoted and his reply) contribute to your not feeling safe as a member of this forum? I hear that it does, but I'm not hearing how so or why.

To me strongly held opinions and expressions of those opinions say something about the person holding and expressing them. The question is, what?

The world around us is rich with complexities. It isn't an ideal world, one that fits exactly our "ideal" of how the world "ought" to be for us to feel safe, comfortable and truly ourselves. Each of us have come here from our own life path, the chain of events and experiences that make up our lives, attitudes, and understanding. Each us has a unique personality with its own strengths and weaknesses.

The question for any forum is, to what extent can we learn to understand one another? Sometimes, this requires our getting a bit beyond our comfort zone; being willing to listen to and try to understand the other person's POV, even if we don't (at least initially) understand it. IMO, so long as we are respectful of each other that possibility exists, even if we aren't able to fully grasp "where" the other person is coming from or "why" they hold the opinion they do.

Bottom line, someone else's opinion is just that: Their opinion. I accept that it is based on their life experience which may be very different from my own. We do not have to "agree." We don't even have to understand each other. But if we can address one another respectfully, then at least we can agree to disagree.

In this case, I see that Doc's statement is disturbing to you. He is expressing a lot of judgement and resentment toward someone I assume neither of you know personally. How is it this leaves you feeling vulnerable and not safe? If his comments were directed at you, if they were in some way personal attacks (which I've experienced here, although not from Doc), I could understand your concern more clearly. As it is, although I'm not fond of Doc's "bashing" (and you're right, it is, because it is full of judgement and has an undercurrent of anger), I don't feel threatened by that. I accept that Doc's opinion is based on his experience of something I have not experienced and know very little about. I am curious to learn what motivates his position: How is it this news 'threatens' him in such a way that he feels the need to "bash" or express such a harsh attitude? What is it HE is trying to protect?