Hi SFR,
I can highly recommend getting therapy, and the right kind. Do some investigating, try some and see if it feels right, if not try something else. I’ve had two different kinds, but just talking to a counsellor really helped me let go or challenge some of the stuff I held onto from the past. One thing I can say though is all of these people in your past who have said these things will have insecurities, they just probably aren’t that visible.
A couple of coping mechanisms that may help is when you feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, is try to;
1) remember that these people are not thinking right now about you, these were one off experiences and
2) you cannot make everyone like you, all of us will meet people in life we cannot get along with
The majority of your experiences were also when you were at school/college. A lot of these people may have changed since; until they get jobs and work with a range of people and experience real-world diversity then it is all too easy to pick on people.
I would again definitely recommend counselling as it can really help. Also when you find your thoughts drifting to these experiences have something you can go to for distraction - reading, excercise, gaming, whatever helps.
I can highly recommend getting therapy, and the right kind. Do some investigating, try some and see if it feels right, if not try something else. I’ve had two different kinds, but just talking to a counsellor really helped me let go or challenge some of the stuff I held onto from the past. One thing I can say though is all of these people in your past who have said these things will have insecurities, they just probably aren’t that visible.
A couple of coping mechanisms that may help is when you feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, is try to;
1) remember that these people are not thinking right now about you, these were one off experiences and
2) you cannot make everyone like you, all of us will meet people in life we cannot get along with
The majority of your experiences were also when you were at school/college. A lot of these people may have changed since; until they get jobs and work with a range of people and experience real-world diversity then it is all too easy to pick on people.
I would again definitely recommend counselling as it can really help. Also when you find your thoughts drifting to these experiences have something you can go to for distraction - reading, excercise, gaming, whatever helps.
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.