Depressed at 57 AGAIN!.......

[InbetweenDreams]

Well the thing about giving advice is that there's no way I can be sure that I'm giving you good advice. What was his outsider's perspective on your situation?

I do agree that there's probably nothing good about coming out to your father who's 75. I wouldn't worry so much about being in an estate and things like that, unless he's a millionaire of course and you're going to be living fancy free the rest of your life.

I assume you have a vehicle, what would it take to make it more reliable. My partner drives a 20 year old truck right now, so it doesn't have to be new, hell new cars can leave you walking for that matter. What's to say you don't go on a vacation. I'm sure you can find some BS to make up, it's my old friend from high school, work, military, or something just so they buy it if you're gone for a week. That way you can meet the guy yourself and see how things go and you can work on what it is you want to do.

Perhaps you can share what it is that you're worried about that kept you up all night specifically? Is it surrounding your dad and family? Is there a chance that things with this guy don't pan out? Sure, in fact it might be likely.

I can say this. The guy I've been seeing, has terrible anxiety and even though he's 30 he's only been working the first job he's had for about 3 going on 4 years now. He asked me if I would move to where he is, despite me having a stable job with good benefits. It's not that I am unwilling, it just wouldn't make sense. He also worries about people knowing he's gay, posting things on facebook and whatnot. It is difficult to pack up and leave, and I can't imagine what it is like coming out to family members who are very likely to disown you. So I can't tell you if it is worth the risk to come out to your family and then pack up and leave. Nor can we be certain that coming out to your dad is going to go the way you expect it to.

What I can say is figure out your game plan. I do think you should do something with this guy. That being said, I haven't gone back and read the other thread you made but I vaguely remember the highlights.