Depressed at 57 AGAIN!.......

[InbetweenDreams]

So having gone back through your other threads and mind you, you don't have to answer any question concerning your situation but having a better picture will help. In your original post about coming out to your dad, you mentioned that you were on disability for a mental illness. Mental illness is definitely a real thing and I am by no means discounting that, however, I know how labels get applied as if we're all dented cans in a grocery store....We're not dented cans and we're not damaged goods, whatever the case maybe. Because I don't want to pry into your business I'll say this, if you are disability due to this then I would draw the conclusion that it is something that is keeping your from thriving and that has kept you from having things like a job and your reliance on your dad. Reliance is something we all can get used to, after all I get in my car and I am used to it running fine every day, so it really throws me off when I hit a deer on the way to work if you know what I mean and that is how it is with life.

For those outside the US, to put it in perspective, if you are disabled and the government grants you disability benefits, you can't work a regular job because you can lose your benefits. Same with social security, you're only allow to make so much money before they cut your benefits.

The thing that concerns me is your mental breakdown. Is the severe depression a result of you not being able to live your life the way you want to? Is it over this guy?

The concern is that I don't know how you might deal with the "waves" that will be the result of getting close to this guy. Let's say you bite the bullet you move in with this guy, you tell your dad the whole thing and then what? Are you prepared to weather whatever comes your way? What if in say 3 months you and this guy aren't getting along so well? Or perhaps things are great? Who knows? That's just it, are you ready to go into uncharted territory and be able to not only deal with the problems but not put yourself in danger. That is my concern with you going soaring on the mountain tops, we don't want you to come crashing down.