feel so insecure i want to kill self

[adzie]

He doesn't neglect me, my ex really messed my head over. It caused me to attempt to kill myself, which i've tried twice.

We've been together for 7 months and I love him to bits, but i've seen him every day for the past 7 months, so i've gotten so used to it.

Back to my ex, we was both in love with eachother, or so i thought and one day he said he wanted to a break to concentrate on GCSEs, i believed him and trusted him with my life. However, for weeks he'd been cheating on me!

So, now that my boyfriends gone away, where there are lots of other gay guys, i feel so scared. He said he wanted to take a break physically and not see me for the two weeks, then he talked about his ex. This brang back the pain and depression and it's caused me to be constantly upset, Im fine at work, but when at home I'm so upset and cry most the time.

I trust hime greatly, but I don't trust other people, mainly because I was raped when I was drunk last year.

I really don't think my heads on straight and I know I'm over reacting, but it's the memories and the 'voice' you could say in my head bringing bad images into my head. I was fine before all this =[

I want to be normal again.