Freakin out! And Not in a good way :)

[marshlander]

My own experience suggests that "settling" before really understanding what one needs is not the best solution. You might be able to manage it for a few years, you might even enjoy those years, but eventually you would have to confront who you really are. The "chaos"of getting into a same-sex relationship now won't be a patch on the chaos that would be caused if you felt driven into the arms of another woman when you have your husband, children, house and dog to consider.

You read like a very thoughtful person who would have few difficulties helping a dear friend through similar issues. It's a pity that we don't always see the world quite as clearly when it comes to answering our own questions!

Good luck to you