11-19-2010, 03:17 PM
Hello I-Heart,
man, you sound like you're living the life I had at univeristy; people always told me it would be the best and most exciting time of my life and it turned out to be exactly the opposite. I hadn't officially 'come out' either, and felt that same feeling of dread like I would be even more alone if I actually told anybody about it. Truth is you're going through (I'd say) one of the hardest parts of being a gay man, if that is indeed your true feeling. I am still envious of people who had the knowledge of themselves and confidence at a young age to be gay, thus avoiding all the confusion and problems of young manhood.
empathy aside, there were a few things that helped me so much. I was 23 like you, recently dumped, and failed my final year, living in this absolute shithole dump with one of my friends who constantly had his annoying girlfriend over! ... the only thing that really helped was excercise and working out... bear with me here...
Having something physical to focus on is a progressive goal and a great distraction, whilst also building on your confidence. I'm not saying 'join a gym', but if you can think of something you can enjoy that burns off the stress, the relaxation afterwards is sublime. Also diet is an interesting factor - processed foods really don't do much to lift your mood, I'm becoming increasingly aware of this.
*hugs* there are plenty of people on here who will understand what you're going through and try to give you all the help you need... Be brave!
if you feel you can, try confronting some of these issues gently and see what happens. I came out to my straight friends very gradually, and after the initial nerves of telling them they were fine with it and time healed shock. I'm with Jade too, most universities have an LGBT group who are friendly and welcoming, and will be experienced in your situation, I'd be tempted to check them out.
Look after yourself treat yourself to some good food, relaxation, and a change in image. If you don't like the current you, you can think of the person you'd like to be and work towards it. I know it won't be easy, but I'm wishing you all the best. Been there, wouldn't want it again *snugs*
man, you sound like you're living the life I had at univeristy; people always told me it would be the best and most exciting time of my life and it turned out to be exactly the opposite. I hadn't officially 'come out' either, and felt that same feeling of dread like I would be even more alone if I actually told anybody about it. Truth is you're going through (I'd say) one of the hardest parts of being a gay man, if that is indeed your true feeling. I am still envious of people who had the knowledge of themselves and confidence at a young age to be gay, thus avoiding all the confusion and problems of young manhood.
empathy aside, there were a few things that helped me so much. I was 23 like you, recently dumped, and failed my final year, living in this absolute shithole dump with one of my friends who constantly had his annoying girlfriend over! ... the only thing that really helped was excercise and working out... bear with me here...
Having something physical to focus on is a progressive goal and a great distraction, whilst also building on your confidence. I'm not saying 'join a gym', but if you can think of something you can enjoy that burns off the stress, the relaxation afterwards is sublime. Also diet is an interesting factor - processed foods really don't do much to lift your mood, I'm becoming increasingly aware of this.
*hugs* there are plenty of people on here who will understand what you're going through and try to give you all the help you need... Be brave!
if you feel you can, try confronting some of these issues gently and see what happens. I came out to my straight friends very gradually, and after the initial nerves of telling them they were fine with it and time healed shock. I'm with Jade too, most universities have an LGBT group who are friendly and welcoming, and will be experienced in your situation, I'd be tempted to check them out.Look after yourself
treat yourself to some good food, relaxation, and a change in image. If you don't like the current you, you can think of the person you'd like to be and work towards it. I know it won't be easy, but I'm wishing you all the best. Been there, wouldn't want it again *snugs*
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
