08-26-2011, 05:12 PM
[quote=gfxtwin]
On the other hand, have you ever met a gay guy who you knew was gay but acted more masculine than they really were? They weren't code-switching either - they really felt that masculine men were more superior. That kind of pisses me off. I think the really masculine straight guys have it easier than the effeminate ones. Many straight people are more prone to befriending masculine gay guys (or, for that matter, lipstick lesbians) because they fit their narrow view of what acceptable gender roles are. Butch lesbians and camp gay guys are often more likely to be hated on because they seem to be much more different from the norm, and people generally hate that. Many are afraid of the unknown or the unfamiliar.
This is actually super true, and part of that reason is why I wish I came off more masculine. I dated a guy that was more masculine, and straight guys loved him just because of the fact that he acted straight. They were more comfortable with him than me for instance. Granted as time went on they realized yeah just cause I wasn't as masculine didnt make me any less of a person or someone they couldn't like or be friends with. I think when straight guys come across effeminate gay men, they are afraid that they are going to hit on them or make them uncomfortable with their own sexuality. Some people have said that when straight guys see an effeminate man they don't know whether to be friends with them or check them out. Which I have do know of guys checking feminine guys out by mistake which makes them uncomfortable.
On the other hand, have you ever met a gay guy who you knew was gay but acted more masculine than they really were? They weren't code-switching either - they really felt that masculine men were more superior. That kind of pisses me off. I think the really masculine straight guys have it easier than the effeminate ones. Many straight people are more prone to befriending masculine gay guys (or, for that matter, lipstick lesbians) because they fit their narrow view of what acceptable gender roles are. Butch lesbians and camp gay guys are often more likely to be hated on because they seem to be much more different from the norm, and people generally hate that. Many are afraid of the unknown or the unfamiliar.
This is actually super true, and part of that reason is why I wish I came off more masculine. I dated a guy that was more masculine, and straight guys loved him just because of the fact that he acted straight. They were more comfortable with him than me for instance. Granted as time went on they realized yeah just cause I wasn't as masculine didnt make me any less of a person or someone they couldn't like or be friends with. I think when straight guys come across effeminate gay men, they are afraid that they are going to hit on them or make them uncomfortable with their own sexuality. Some people have said that when straight guys see an effeminate man they don't know whether to be friends with them or check them out. Which I have do know of guys checking feminine guys out by mistake which makes them uncomfortable.
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