Don't want to feel down anymore.

[dfiant]

You need closure, and from reading what you are saying, I think you have already figured that out too.

It is hard to move on when you haven't had closure and that closure is so hard to find from a distance. The time will come when the two of you will meet and you can have a good chat and know in your heart that the break up is the right thing, then you can move on.