Asking the top or bottom ?

[fenris]

Fenris I wouldn't level it to a fetish or preference. For many including myself its akin to a sexual orientation. Just like I cant be with a woman I can't have a normal relationship if someone is not sexually compat.

I understand what you mean ...really good, who don't want the "all in one package" but I had the fears that I would miss a great guy when I would restrict my search.
A much better solution of this problem can be - by example - to talk honestly with the partner and maybe looking for a "sportfriend" :-) Then in the same way as a partner can be maybe not your 100% sex-compatible partner is the chance given that you are not the 100% compatible partner for your partner.
Sex is overrated ( for me ) but I have experiences with a 5 year relationship, a 7 year relationship and a 11 year relationship... and the saying with the beans ( give a bean in a glass for every time you have sex with your partner in the first year.... and take one bean out of the glass for every time you have sex with your partner from the second year and the glass never will be empty ) is not a complete myth