01-01-2012, 07:52 PM
Well, it sounds like you KNOW that the relationship was dysfunctional. He did not seem to value you like you should be valued or he would not be so easily tempted to leave you. That sort of behavior, "you be what i want you to be and do what I want you to do or I will leave you" is a form of emotional abuse. You need to find something different. You are still young and there are lots of opportunities for you to find someone who does value you for who you are.
As far as the depression you are experiencing, that can only be expected. It is natural that you should struggle with the end of an eight year relationship. Augment that with finding yourself single during the Holidays for the first time in years, and it makes it an even harder time. What I would do to combat the blues is see a counselor or find a close and steady friend who doesn't mind you spilling your guts to them once or twice a week. Make sure you are getting out of the house. That you are spending as much time as possible with friends. Make sure that you are using this as an opportunity to work on you and what you want for yourself. It sounds like your a good person, and you deserve some good things to happen for you. Make them happen, and when you are ready again, get back out there and look for the man you deserve.
It is ironic. Your X was never satisfied, thinking that he was settling for you and was always drawn to "greener pastures" or sandier beaches. But, from everything you said, it sounds like you were the one who was settling for less than what you deserved. Keep that in mind, and you will do fine.
As far as the depression you are experiencing, that can only be expected. It is natural that you should struggle with the end of an eight year relationship. Augment that with finding yourself single during the Holidays for the first time in years, and it makes it an even harder time. What I would do to combat the blues is see a counselor or find a close and steady friend who doesn't mind you spilling your guts to them once or twice a week. Make sure you are getting out of the house. That you are spending as much time as possible with friends. Make sure that you are using this as an opportunity to work on you and what you want for yourself. It sounds like your a good person, and you deserve some good things to happen for you. Make them happen, and when you are ready again, get back out there and look for the man you deserve.
It is ironic. Your X was never satisfied, thinking that he was settling for you and was always drawn to "greener pastures" or sandier beaches. But, from everything you said, it sounds like you were the one who was settling for less than what you deserved. Keep that in mind, and you will do fine.
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