My turning point, almost my death

[Zet]

Hi bloomer. Its been fairly well I guess. I still suffer from Suicidal thoughts and depression but I guess I am alright. Felt very anxious and sad some days ago although. I know I need to get to a doctor or some... But... Its not easy face phobias. Being like this for so long its hard to open up. It just is so easy to write on a wall of a page to people you don't have to face, but it still brings some anxiety. I've tried to meditate some, but its hard to find a spot that isn't covered in snow and doing it home brings nothing.