can you be gay without anal ?

[BobInTampa]

I look at the stats regarding anal sex in the gay male community the same way i do about that old addage: 95% of all men masturbate, the other 5% are liars.

Look, intimacy is critical to the success and longevity of ALL relationships (gay and str8) so is anal sex the SOLE measure of a couples sexual compatabilty and overall health? Of course not, BUT, it's my belief that there's more a play with gay men who say they NEVER have anal sex (as a top or a bottom) AND i belive alot of this is psychological.

There are many gay men who, due to much of society's villification of how gay men are intimate AND the percieved "lack of masculinity" of men who "bottom" - ie: he's the girl in the relationship.

Add to that the misperceptions that anal sex is always painful (a myth), STD's, hemmoroids, the chance of fecal matter appearing during intimacy, and so on, can put alot of pressure on some gay/bi men to just take a "pass" at anal sex.

All of THAT said, I still much echo the first reply here where it was said that SURE, a gay couple can forego anal sex, in the same way that a heterosexual couple can forego vagainal sex.

I belive, as i said above, that that position is based more on a psychological position rather than a preferance.

I'll also throw THIS word into the discussion: PROSTATE! Yep, that wonderful gland, inside a man's rectum, IS A SEX ORGAN! In fact, there are more sexual receptors per-square millimeter on the prostate than there are on the head of the penis or the clitoris. Now, accessing that organ takes a bit of work (patience and alot of lube), but the pay-off is well worth it! It's an amazing organ and, in my opinion, GOD would NOT have put a sex organ in the male's rectum if it wasn't meant to be enjoyed!

Finally, and again this is ME, i don't belive you can really consummate a gay relatioship without anal sex (assuming there are no physcial issues that make that impossible). IT's how we are fully connected with our partner. IT's that wonderful moment where (if you bottom) you're letting the man you love inside you - willfully letting him inside you - and vice versa. What a gift to look into your partner's eyes as you slowly enter him and you lock eyes and know that you're ONE. You can't get that from a blowjob or a hand job and i think that "union" is a critical necessity in an LTR. Does it mean you ALWAYS have to have anal sex with your partner? NO! Intimacy is a wonderful mix of techniques, ideas, fantasies and touching.

But to remove anal sex from a couple's intimacy mix i think will set in motion a problem down the road - especially if ONE of the partners WANTS anal and the other dosn't!