02-05-2012, 12:52 AM
It sounds eerily similar to me and my situation (well along time ago anyway). I was with a guy before we even hit puberty, but even then, we were inseperable, always holding hands, him leading the way, me getting him out of trouble with guys he would want to fight (
) and so on. We were together since we were 4 & 5(He is a year older than me) right up until I turned 14. He experience puberty before me, and was more interested in sex and stuff, while I was kind of a late bloomer
, and he also developed an interest in girls. I watched as he slowly broke away from me, and started to date girls and spent time with me less.
We used to; watch t.v, sleep over, get in trouble, climb stuff and catch little animals and he would stop me from falling(cause back then I was klutzy :3 ) and I would teach him new things. It then transitioned to me carrying his bag or "watching" his things when he went to go play basketball or something with the other boys, or take notes for him, cause he didn't want to come to class. He got into fights more often, because I wasn't around to tell him not to(he always had a quick temper) and wouldn't let me help him when he got hurt or to make him see reason. He stopped listening to me when I tried to help, but still clung to me, because we've been together since childhood and I guess I was his link back to how things used to be, and I was his comfort zone.
Eventually, his grades dropped to the point where he was held back and had to repeat a year, while I (already a year early in school) kept on going. I entered highschool without him and he was then a year below me, but I still went out of my way to see him, even when my mom told me not to, and even called the police after me, cause I left after 10:00pm. I was 13 going 14 at that point and he was going 15. We used to sneak out to one of the small ponds we have here and used to just hangout and stuff. Eventually, my schedule at school got very busy(plus with me doing music, I was surprised we even had a chance to hangout) and I couldn't see him any more. He made a spiral down hill and got into even more fights and didn't even finish middle school, and I felt guilty cause we were always each other's rock, even though we weren't as close as we orginally were. As long as one of us knew the other was there, we were okay.
He was sent to a correctional school abroad and I haven't seen him since. A mutual friend(who's da biggest Queen Eva!!
) told me about him, cause they still talk. He's now a Mechanic and is very much the type "thug" that gave me troubles in highschool. He and I would never be the same now, because we've grown apart.
~
I still love that dumb boy, but you have to learn how live by yourself and accept yourself, before you can be with someone else. Had we continued on, we probably would've fought frequently, as he is(and was to a lesser extent as a child) the typical black thug, while I am more of a feminine hippy who wants world peace.
Don't put your all into anything that you do, unless you are sure you can handle any out come that you don't want/can't handle.
Love sick is a state of mind that leads to sick love, and you don't want to be sick in love. Allow yourself to be able to love yourself, enough so that you can let someone else love you without you needing it/ feeling crippled without it.
If you can't be alone, you can't be with someone else. Two halves make a whole, so don't lose your half to love sickness, because then when you are in love, it won't really be whole :3.
Hope you feel better
(I play music to help myself feel better :3)
HUGGZZZ
) and so on. We were together since we were 4 & 5(He is a year older than me) right up until I turned 14. He experience puberty before me, and was more interested in sex and stuff, while I was kind of a late bloomer , and he also developed an interest in girls. I watched as he slowly broke away from me, and started to date girls and spent time with me less. We used to; watch t.v, sleep over, get in trouble, climb stuff and catch little animals and he would stop me from falling(cause back then I was klutzy :3 ) and I would teach him new things. It then transitioned to me carrying his bag or "watching" his things when he went to go play basketball or something with the other boys, or take notes for him, cause he didn't want to come to class. He got into fights more often, because I wasn't around to tell him not to(he always had a quick temper) and wouldn't let me help him when he got hurt or to make him see reason. He stopped listening to me when I tried to help, but still clung to me, because we've been together since childhood and I guess I was his link back to how things used to be, and I was his comfort zone.
Eventually, his grades dropped to the point where he was held back and had to repeat a year, while I (already a year early in school) kept on going. I entered highschool without him and he was then a year below me, but I still went out of my way to see him, even when my mom told me not to, and even called the police after me, cause I left after 10:00pm. I was 13 going 14 at that point and he was going 15. We used to sneak out to one of the small ponds we have here and used to just hangout and stuff. Eventually, my schedule at school got very busy(plus with me doing music, I was surprised we even had a chance to hangout) and I couldn't see him any more. He made a spiral down hill and got into even more fights and didn't even finish middle school, and I felt guilty cause we were always each other's rock, even though we weren't as close as we orginally were. As long as one of us knew the other was there, we were okay.
He was sent to a correctional school abroad and I haven't seen him since. A mutual friend(who's da biggest Queen Eva!!
) told me about him, cause they still talk. He's now a Mechanic and is very much the type "thug" that gave me troubles in highschool. He and I would never be the same now, because we've grown apart. ~
I still love that dumb boy, but you have to learn how live by yourself and accept yourself, before you can be with someone else. Had we continued on, we probably would've fought frequently, as he is(and was to a lesser extent as a child) the typical black thug, while I am more of a feminine hippy who wants world peace.
Don't put your all into anything that you do, unless you are sure you can handle any out come that you don't want/can't handle.
Love sick is a state of mind that leads to sick love, and you don't want to be sick in love. Allow yourself to be able to love yourself, enough so that you can let someone else love you without you needing it/ feeling crippled without it.
If you can't be alone, you can't be with someone else. Two halves make a whole, so don't lose your half to love sickness, because then when you are in love, it won't really be whole :3.
Hope you feel better
(I play music to help myself feel better :3)HUGGZZZ
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