Feeling like crap.

[oldster]

OK what can i say i felt almost the same way you do at the same age and had the same thoughts but i am a prick and decided not to kill myself because i refuse to let them win. I am now glad i didn't i had a lover for 34 years and we enjoyed live together because every day we were doing something to enjoy our lives we have helped lots of people and known lots of people and i feel i have helped others and if i just helped one person to have a smother passage during their life then i have done as much as if not more than most people do in their lives. and besides why should you make things easier for them live your life for you after all its your life. I understand that you feel like that about your own self worth but you are using their mu sering stick not your own you can learn and play any game you want to in life but your being here is very important to some one you may not have even met yet but you will be the most important thing in their live and probably yours Tonto just for sex but for emotional love i know we were not supposed be able to have that but we can and you need to stick around to prove that the more of us that can lead lives together will help show the world that we are more that the haters would like the rest of the world believe we are. please read some good books about us and look up who we the different people some of the smartest and best human beings in the history of the world have been of different sexual orientations the father of the modern day computer was gay. So don't let their thinking control your life after all thats why they call it your life i know i seem to wander in my thoughts i have had some problems in my life like brain tumors but like i say i wouldn't change much if i could and who knows what is still to come they say that life is what you make of it and that seems very true to me so please stay and help us be better we really do need you.
i hope your Friend oldster