Feeling like crap.

[Sylph]

Hey babe,

Suicide is never the answer , it is such a horrible double edge sword and it keeps on destroying long after it has taken the life of it's victim.
Please don't do anything to hurt yourself, I know it's hard right now , but things will get better.
You just have to survive and never give up.
Two years might seem like a lifetime , but it really is not, you have to find the strength to fight this.

I have probably asked this before , have you thought about getting help for your depression.
Do you remember me telling you about taking the power back?
Sweetie your tormentor has only the limited power that you allow them to have.

Take the power back sweetie , do not let anyone change you.
I know I sound like a broken record , but this is a vital skill you have to master, especially before going in to the big bad world.

Remember , people can only hurt you if you allow it.
You are such a sweet young man , I know I would be proud to call you my own.

Remember the best revenge is survival.

Wish I did not live on the other side of the world, but I do.
Always here for you sweetie.

Sending you a huge mum hug.

I so agree with Rainbowmum, it's imperative that you do not let these negative emotions take you over. Although you have had a rough time(and I can probably somewhat relate, I mean, if you saw my community, it would blow your mind) in your 16 years, you shouldn't feel that taking your life is so important, that it out-weighs the possible greatness you have to offer the world. We can all tell you "oh please don't do it" or "it's not the answer", but at the end of the day, it's not really what we say that will hit home, and resonate with you, but it will be the realization that you are an important person, both inside and outside, as every other person on the planet is.

Everrrrybody has a purpose, and is integral in the grand design of which I like to call "Life's Musical", from the actual Musicians, to the stage hands and even the audience. without any of these things, the Musical will ultimately be a dud, and wouldn't be good, but if everything is there, it will work. You are part of this grand design, and if you remove yourself from it, than not only will you be missing an awesome show :3 , but you'll also be missing a chance to make the Musical even better.

Could you imagine how hard it was for gays that came before us? Even some of the older men and women, and even transgenders here have probably gone through it worse, as it is more acceptable and even welcomed now, than it ever was back then. Not to say that we have it easy in this generation, but it is significantly easier now, and without their strength, we wouldn't have the justice and freedom we have today. I heard on the radio yesterday morning that, Martin Luther King's right hand man was black, a mastermind who planned the whole march and was profoundly gay, and was very important in the social libraties and racial equalities we have now. I wouldn't have been born had this not occured, as I am of mixed heritage, and as you know, that was a no no back then. Back then for a gay man(and women), especially a racially oppressed black gay man, it was very difficult i'm sure, but you know what? He pushed through it, got that march to march, even when Martin Luther King pushed him away after threats of outing him as gay (even though he wasn't, atleast to our knowledge).

If nothing I've said so far has 'clicked' with you so far, atleast know this. If you were to succeed in your plan to end your life, think about all the thing's you'd miss, like other gay/lesbian/transgendered people who need someone to look up to? I know it's rough, but you have to know that deep down, you want to live, otherwise you would'nt have even bothered to login to GaySpeak, and type out your story. Personally, I felt really bad about myself, especially being bi-racial, for a long time, but I started listening to Tchaikovsky's music and it actually inspired me, to be me. He was one of the only famous gay composers of his time and one of the most talented. Now, I want to do the same thing he did, albeit different, and hopefully inspire other gay/lesbian/transgender kids and even straight kids, to be themselves and individuals, as all people should be allowed to be. If you were to kill yourself, you'd miss the chance to be another child/person's inspiration to be themselves, and help them to not go through what you're going through now.

At the end of the day, I'm just another person you don't know that is probably miles and miles away from you, but even still, I am a person none-the-less and as such can respect you as a person and your valuable life, even if I've never met you. All life is precious and should be viewed as something beautiful, rather than something to be tormented/manipulated and even taken away. I really hope you don't go through with this, and that you discover happiness.

HUGZZZ & KISSEZZZ