02-19-2012, 10:06 PM
Hi everyone,
I am new to this forum and look forward to getting acquitted with many of you. After my introduction, this is my first post. The marriage issue of the thread appealed to me.
My husband and I have been legally married in the State of New Hampshire (USA) for over two years. Prior to that New Hampshire allowed for same sex civil unions and we took advantage of that too in 2008. We have been a couple for nearly 14 years.
One of you mentioned that your parent’s marriage may set the standards for your own marriage and that was certainly the case for me. I grew up a very happy home with parents that truly loved each other very much. My father was best my friend growing up and I looked up to his example for how treat your spouse. My mother was very ill for the last twenty years of her life and he was by her side every minute right to the end. I wanted that kind of love in my life, but I wondered if it would ever be possible as a gay man.
A am now 51 years old and grew up at a time where the idea that a gay man could even let anyone know he was gay was unbelievable, but times change. In my case, I was in the right place at the right time. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and by the late 1970’s the gay rights movement was in full swing. I came of age at just the right time. At age 20 I moved to San Francisco and lived an open gay life. I have been completely open about being gay at work since 1979. I met my husband in 1998 in San Francisco and I knew immediately, he was the one for me. With him I could share the kind of love and commitment my parents had.
Soon after meeting we knew we wanted our own home and more privacy. This was not possible in the San Francisco area unless you were wealthy, so we looked elsewhere and found that New Hampshire fit the bill. The New England states are known for the liberal and progressive attitudes and least religious people in the nation. It was perfect fit. We now have a lovely home on two acres of land. The neighbors are all straight but after ten years they know we are couple but they don’t seem to mind and we are friendly with all of them. There are a few gay associations in the area and we have loads of gay friends. Everyone at work knows I am gay and in a relationship. They even gave me party and wedding gifts. So Slokara, yes it is possible for some gay men to have the kind of marriage they are looking for. However I know you are in a different culture and place than me. When I was 13 years old and recognized I was gay, I was terrified at my prospects for a happy life. Now I am living my dream. I do hope your circumstances change any you can find it too. I wish you the best.
I am new to this forum and look forward to getting acquitted with many of you. After my introduction, this is my first post. The marriage issue of the thread appealed to me.
My husband and I have been legally married in the State of New Hampshire (USA) for over two years. Prior to that New Hampshire allowed for same sex civil unions and we took advantage of that too in 2008. We have been a couple for nearly 14 years.
One of you mentioned that your parent’s marriage may set the standards for your own marriage and that was certainly the case for me. I grew up a very happy home with parents that truly loved each other very much. My father was best my friend growing up and I looked up to his example for how treat your spouse. My mother was very ill for the last twenty years of her life and he was by her side every minute right to the end. I wanted that kind of love in my life, but I wondered if it would ever be possible as a gay man.
A am now 51 years old and grew up at a time where the idea that a gay man could even let anyone know he was gay was unbelievable, but times change. In my case, I was in the right place at the right time. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and by the late 1970’s the gay rights movement was in full swing. I came of age at just the right time. At age 20 I moved to San Francisco and lived an open gay life. I have been completely open about being gay at work since 1979. I met my husband in 1998 in San Francisco and I knew immediately, he was the one for me. With him I could share the kind of love and commitment my parents had.
Soon after meeting we knew we wanted our own home and more privacy. This was not possible in the San Francisco area unless you were wealthy, so we looked elsewhere and found that New Hampshire fit the bill. The New England states are known for the liberal and progressive attitudes and least religious people in the nation. It was perfect fit. We now have a lovely home on two acres of land. The neighbors are all straight but after ten years they know we are couple but they don’t seem to mind and we are friendly with all of them. There are a few gay associations in the area and we have loads of gay friends. Everyone at work knows I am gay and in a relationship. They even gave me party and wedding gifts. So Slokara, yes it is possible for some gay men to have the kind of marriage they are looking for. However I know you are in a different culture and place than me. When I was 13 years old and recognized I was gay, I was terrified at my prospects for a happy life. Now I am living my dream. I do hope your circumstances change any you can find it too. I wish you the best.
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