Society.

[Pix]

so on facebook, one of my friends posted a status "Guys who hit women are beyond fucking pathetic." while that statement is true, that's all people focus on. they just care about bashing guys who treat women wrong. what about women who do that to a guy?

Caveat: I'm not a typical representation of society.

As for me, I don't automatically view domestic abuse or other violence by women "less horrid" than men. I've actually come out on the side of men who defended themselves from violent women with violence (and consider it insulting for someone to promote the idea that a violent woman isn't a dangerous threat). Though that said, in my observation domestic partners tend to be alike so that if either man or woman is violent to the other then the other partner is likely to get as violent as well. Emotionally immature people with poor impulse control who tend to act this way are only likely to marry other emotionally immature people.

A sore spot with me was when my 'rents got a divorce Mom was able to secure the aid of a feminist group who tried to bring up Dad's abuse of me and Mom in the court proceedings and tried to get me to help them. But when I said I would also share how Mom attacked Dad (indeed, she once took a shotgun to him, though she was either too drunk or ignorant to switch the safety off at the time) as well, and how Mom also abused me, they weren't interested in having me take the stand. Indeed, when I said I wanted to live with Granny instead of either Mom or Dad they refused to let me speak at all and assigned an "advocate" to speak on my behalf who lied about me wanting to live with Mom. I can be surprisingly bitter about that to this day (I've actually forgiven Mom for this but still hold that group in contempt) though I know I should let it go.

did anyone ever think that maybe not all guys are stronger than women?

A really good book on this, IMO, is Kill the Body, the Head Will Fall: A Closer Look at Women, Violence, and Aggression, a feminist book that explores how women's anger is discounted and this actually increases the intensity of women's violence (some of whom feel the only way to be taken as seriously as a man is to escalate the threatening and/or violent behavior as it's otherwise dismissed by society), and also explores the rare times a woman sexually abuses her children. Just to be clear this isn't an anti-feminist book falsely passing itself off as a feminist book that some books of this nature are, but a genuine feminist book that takes a new look at women, anger, and violence, and I recommend it highly.

Btw, I don't know how common my experience is, but I've noticed that in lesbian relationships it seems to be that the femmes & lipsticks have more of a rep for domestic violence so that if a couple includes one who takes on a masculine role then it's assumed violence was done by (or at least started by) the one who takes the feminine role. And as one S&M dyke put it, "vanillas consider domestic violence foreplay." I don't know how much truth there is to this and may simply be because vanillas and the like tend to give the more odd and offbeat lesbians a bad time for "giving us a bad name" that they're called on it more (just like Gore gets called on his environmental abuses more and Republicans get called on their gay and/or extramarital affairs more, because the hypocrisy makes it more noteworthy to people). But I suppose it's possible that studs and butches have to guard their reputation a lot more than a man (or a femme) does if she doesn't want to be automatically rejected by those she seeks to be in a relationship with...

what about when a man gets raped or molested by a woman? society doesnt really care.

Sadly, this is true enough, often with the philosophy that such victims were lucky and even men wishing something like that happened to them.

but when a woman gets raped or molested by a man, its the end of the world.

Not necessarily. Often times a woman or even little girl is at least partially blamed for bringing it on herself, especially if she's not seen as another man's property. They are frequently ignored and dismissed by authorities as well (not always, and sometimes things go to the opposite extreme, though in my observation there's usually a political agenda involved when it does).

there was also a thing, i might have read it here or seen it on youtube but this talk show thing where there is a bunch of women and they talk about stuff, but on one episode they talked about this girl cutting off this guys penis. and they were laughing about it! Now if it was a bunch of guys sitting together talking about cutting a chicks boobs off, and laughing about it, they would be labled as psycho monsters and alot of other things.

I'd need context to comment because sometimes people laugh as it's so wrong and horrible and it makes them uncomfortable or they just can't take the concept seriously.

Other times there is anger involved, like I know a woman who has endured severe harassment and rape who takes sadistic delight in straight men who freak over gay men who harass them (and wish the straight men endured worse as she has experienced so that in her mind men will finally understand what she puts up with).

I have been exposed to extreme feminist cults (as I call them) that held a hatred for men, at least a few of whom believed males should be killed or castrated at birth, or at least barred males from their property (including infant males). They are NOT mainstream, however, and few think well of them. Many of these women have also endured a lifetime of extreme abuse and harassment by males so that they're receptive to such hate propaganda. I don't say that to excuse them, I say that to help you understand them (though they do not represent society). Most society ignores these types as kooks much like they dismiss flat earthers and creationists, though a few misogynists try to portray this fringe element as mainstream.

But back to this supposed talk show, assuming it is exactly as you presented (and not total garbage where people hoot, cheer, and laugh at every vitriolic and obscene comment) then I'd guess that if this was seen as acceptable then it's because women's anger is simply not given the same serious respect and fear that a man's anger is given, and thus it's not taken seriously.