To be honest, all those people that say being gay isn't a choice, and that you're born gay, I beg to differ. When I was smaller I always knew I liked girl, I had a couple when I was growing up. Then comes high school and I start messing around with other guys, in both connotations. And now, here I am... wanting to not be gay anymore.
I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I know what I've done to guys is wrong, and to girls too. I just wanted some help. Maybe someone has a similar story to mine, and truth be told. I don't want to latter on in life say "I'm bored of girls, off to the guy section." Any bi male want to explain to me how it works? I'd settle for maybe being bi. But for right now... I'm a little fed up being in gay relationships. Sorry for also being a small writer, I don't like technogoly unless there is a game involved.
Please and thanks you. 
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Hello Texas,
Firstly welcome to the forum....
Now onto the topic of interest:
Being gay bi or hetrosexual isnt down to who you choose to have sex with its down to who you feel you could settle down with in life.. Now being gay isnt a choice and by the description you have given about whats on your mind it may occur to me you are bi sexual rather than gay which may explain why you feel for both sexes. You stated that as a child you liked girls and then in high school moved to guys and now back to girls for starters as a youngster in a playground 1 in 10 boys is due to lead a life as a homosexual therefore majority of the playground are going down the hetrosexual route which will explain through peer pressure and the fitting into normality route you have grown an attachment to girls..
I am gay myself but before i realised and accepted i dreamt of having kids and a wife and all that crap but that was purely through pressure of being in school and family issues like my brother. I wqould recommend just taking life as it goes and by the time your 22-25 years old your find that your path in life will be decided.. People will get hurt in life despite you not wanting to show so my best advice is whilst your single sex is only sex but once you get into a relationship if its with a girl and you decide its time to find a guy then be strong and end that relationship instead of playing away as more respect is earnt for you as a person...
Kindest regards
zeon x
•
How do I tell people I'm not gay?? Most of my friends knew me as gay, most of them are girls, who change infront of me a lot and what not. I don't want to make things awkward between us.
Can you believe I'm scared of telling people I'm NOT gay, that's very ironic to me. But what are they gonna say? What if my ex's come up to me and rant about me  I actually cheated on a guy one time with a girl... What if he gets upset? I never told him. I feel like I'm in knots...
And some of my straight friends let me hang out with their girls because they know I won't do anything with their girls. How should I do this?...
•
TexasBoy Wrote:How do I tell people I'm not gay?? Most of my friends knew me as gay, most of them are girls, who change infront of me a lot and what not. I don't want to make things awkward between us. If they really are your friends, then they'd accept you if you aren't gay. They should accept you, even if you turned the colour purple and claimed to be an alien(bit extreme :p ). It wouldn't be awkward, I think. It's not like you touched them inappropriately and you don't come on to them. Sure they may not want to change around you anymore, but I don't think it would particularly stress your relationship with them.
Can you believe I'm scared of telling people I'm NOT gay, that's very ironic to me. But what are they gonna say? What if my ex's come up to me and rant about me I actually cheated on a guy one time with a girl... What if he gets upset? I never told him. I feel like I'm in knots... Confessing anything you're not comfortable with to anyone is scary, so don't feel bad. They'll probably be shocked at first and be like "what? no way", but they'll come around if they really are your friends. People will talk about you until the day you or they die, so why stress over it? If people come back at you with an attitude, just move on, don't even give them the satisfaction of a retort. Shame for cheating Mr. , but it's something that you must deal with. All actions in life have repercussions, and you have to be ready to handle them and how you do is up to you. Take a deep breath and think on; What you want, Why you want it, How you're going to achieve it, and you should know your answer.
And some of my straight friends let me hang out with their girls because they know I won't do anything with their girls. How should I do this?...I can relate somewhat here. A few of my gal pals have boyfriends, who at first didn't want me hanging around them, cause they thought I was straight (yeah, right!  ) but came around, cause I actually met them in person and they saw I wasn't "competition" . Whether you're gay/bi/straight, you shouldn't mess with someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend anyway, especially if you're friends. The guys would probably feel uncomfortable then, but since you say these people are your friends, they shouldn't feel so cross with you. Just make sure that whatever happens, they hear it from your mouth and not from somebody else. We can't really tell you how to do it, because we're not in your position, but you'll know how to do it when the time comes. You don't have to rush.
Pretty Magenta for you :3
Remember, if these people are really your friends, they'd accept you no matter what. If they can accept you as gay, then they can accept you as gay/bi/straight/questioning.
Take your time, breath deep breaths and don't rush into anything without thinking about the outcome.
Good luck 
•
TexasBoy Wrote:and that you're born gay, I beg to differ.
How dare you get on your high horse and be so dismissive of other peoples personal experience just because your's are different.
How dare you :mad:
•
your the better man to work it out now in your life.
TexasBoy Wrote:... But for right now; I'm a little fed up being in gay relationships. ... what was up setting?
if you cheat in a relationship accept your bad but generally it makes it worse to confess. you dont need to ask permission in the way post tense of the act.
•
Just like to point out, if you're attracted to both male and female, you're bi-sexual not a straight guy choosing to be gay. So please don't tell people they have a choice and that saying they didn't is incorrect. It sort of sends a toxic message to gay teens IMHO. Telling gay people they have a choice makes what they're going through so much worse because it adds to the "What's wrong with me?" syndrome that a lot of gay youth end up with.
To clarify
If you're only attracted to the opposite sex you're STRAIGHT
If you're only attracted to the same sex you're HOMOSEXUAL
If you're attracted to both You're BI-SEXUAL
These are simple terms, and break things down exactly how they are. It doesn't matter if you're Bi and have a preference for men, you're still Bi not gay, because you still have the potential to be attracted to women.
•
You and you alone know if you are gay or not.
If I had to make a guess I would say you are Bi.
That being said , you have no right to trivialize others.
We all have our own opinions on things , however an opinion just like a penis , should not be shoved down anyone's throat.
Just saying, with all due respect , you need to to be honest and true to yourself.
living a lie ,is not fair to you or anyone else.
•
TexasBoy Wrote:How do I tell people I'm not gay?? Most of my friends knew me as gay, most of them are girls, who change infront of me a lot and what not. I don't want to make things awkward between us.
Can you believe I'm scared of telling people I'm NOT gay, that's very ironic to me. But what are they gonna say? What if my ex's come up to me and rant about me I actually cheated on a guy one time with a girl... What if he gets upset? I never told him. I feel like I'm in knots...
And some of my straight friends let me hang out with their girls because they know I won't do anything with their girls. How should I do this?...
best thing to dso is lead your life for you whjy do u need to tell poeople at the end of the day telling can be labelling and what if u realise actually u r gay u then gotta re tell everyone and this can actually make u out to be a confused person
•
TexasBoy Wrote:To be honest, all those people that say being gay isn't a choice, and that you're born gay, I beg to differ. When I was smaller I always knew I liked girl, I had a couple when I was growing up. Then comes high school and I start messing around with other guys, in both connotations. And now, here I am... wanting to not be gay anymore.
Sounds to me you were BORN bi, but are wanting to choose between male and female partners. If you choose one, fine, but you haven't made a choice about your orientation, you're still bi, instead you've made a choice regarding celibacy in regards to one gender or another. Therefore you can't choose to be gay or straight because you're neither.
A really important thing to understand is that you're not the "default model" of everyone else. That is, and this is just one example, just because you're bi and can choose one gender or another doesn't mean that all the gay and straight people out there made the same choice you did, because they're not you, and their experiences and perceptions and orientations are often different from your own. This is true in other ways as well, and it's important to realize that because it can be downright dangerous to assume most other people process the world and more or less motivated the same as you.
•
|
I don't think I'm gay.
