Why bother?

[Alwaysconfused]

I often ask myself this question. Why bother, dating? they are just going to break my heart after two months. So far it's been true. Past two guys I dated, ended after two months. They didn't tell me why bc they just ran off with out a word. I haven't card about boys in a while, like not caring about boyfriends and etc but lately I just been feeling utterly alone, it makes me cry. I don't know if I'll ever be happy. All I want is someone to care for me and always be there when I need them. Lately I've been crying, I tried talking to guys but I'm just not into them. Maybe I still want to be with the last guy who left me back in January. I just...Idk anymore. I hate everything going on around me. My job, my 2nd job, my internship, my lack of love and friends. I wish I was back in college where I had ppl who cared about me. Now I find myself sitting alone. I would go out to places but I hate going to bars and clubs all by myself. I miss having ppl I can go with that aren't gonna ditch me. Sorry guys I'm just venting right now. I feel like crap but I sure as hell don't look like it! I'm cute! Not blowing my horn, just saying lol I just need a friend I can hangout w/every now again, but what I really want is a BF...But that will never happen.

[Inchante]

I think you are upset right now and letting that color all of your perspective. That is something you should always consider: how is my mood effecting my perspective? You already know that saying you will NEVER have a boyfriend really doesn't make sense rationally. It may take a while, you may have to go on dozens of dates with people who never work out, but there are a lot of guys out there and you only need to find one.

So, what are some things that you could do to change the outcomes of some of these relationships?
What are some things you can do to keep your hopes up and your mood high?

[BYoNexus]

It's always good to cry sometimes, not to mention vent . Just hang in there, I'm sure you'll get passed it eventually, If you need to chat, or vent some more, just let me know. I won't promise to have the greatest advice, but at least you won't feel utterly alone. I've been there before, for different reasons.

You mention 2 jobs and an internship. Does that mean basically 3 jobs? If so, it could be that your stretching yourself too much and it might be affecting your personal life. If not, then ignore this little bit of advice :p

[Alwaysconfused]

What I can do to change the outcome of these relationships? IDK. I don't put pressure on them, Im not over bearing, unless its bc I txt them alot? I dout that should be a reason for them to just leave out of thin air. They still havent told me why he left! IDK WHAT I'm doing wrong! is it wrong of me to plan a date w/them bc I wanna see them even if its for a short time?

To keep my mood high? hmm IDK meet a nice guy who isn't a asshole. Getting the job of my dreams

[Alwaysconfused]

I just want him back. But I'm stupid thinking that will ever happen.

[BYoNexus]

Hmm. Texting a lot might seem over bearing, but it depends on how often you get to see him. If its rare, then it seems to me like texting would be appreciated. Nor is it wrong to want to plan a date, unless it's too often, cause then a date would lose some significance...

BTW, you've just met a Mr. Nice Guy. Hopefully your mood imrpoves somewhat

I know this next bit might seem a bit mean, and I'm sorry, but if Your Ex left you, just like that, with no explanation, then are you sure you really want him back? What would stop him from doing it again? Communication is key in a relationship, at least that's what I believe.

[Inchante]

What I can do to change the outcome of these relationships? IDK. I don't put pressure on them, Im not over bearing, unless its bc I txt them alot? I dout that should be a reason for them to just leave out of thin air. They still havent told me why he left! IDK WHAT I'm doing wrong! is it wrong of me to plan a date w/them bc I wanna see them even if its for a short time?

To keep my mood high? hmm IDK meet a nice guy who isn't a asshole. Getting the job of my dreams

Sometimes people simply don't click.

As far as your mood Get out when you can. Try to hang out with some friends or get to know new people. Exercise is great for lifting a person's mood. Just have fun and do things that will help you take your mind off of what is worrying you when you get down.

As, Byonexus said, if you just want to talk and get it off your chest go ahead. There are plenty of people including myself willing to listen.

[HollandofFrance]

i think people suck too

i should just find a woman and have kids-that hasnt happened

may as well live with a man that doesnt happen

maybe i like being alone -for now

i see the same tired people milling around in town

i say hi to gays -no reply usually

i may as well have kids -create new people-but all the girls are cranky bitches in town or something

thats life i guess or my fate

whats the best state?i sort of want to move to new england or california

[HollandofFrance]

Love - Alone Again Or

[Pix]

It seems to me that many guys are prone to leave after a couple of months (actually, I've heard 2 months is pretty good, regardless of his orientation). I'm guessing once the initial glow of a relationship (sometimes called a "honeymoon phase") fades then so do they. (Obviously I'm speaking in general terms and impressions.)

In some ways that might be a good thing. We lesbians seem to have the opposite problem, what some call the "urge to merge." I remember leaving one after a couple of months because it obviously was not working (the sex was great, but that was about it) and she took to stalking me which creeped me out.

When a relationships lasts for months and even years then things change: passion fades (though it can be rekindled, but it will fade again), things that were once cute become annoying, both become less concerned about hiding their flaws (sometimes minor like being a messy slob or borrowing your clothes without permission, other times major like a violent temper or alcohol/drug addiction) which can create more conflict and disillusionment, and if ya'll are living together then that opens a whole new can of worms. For example, imagine finding out your grocery bill is going through the roof (and there's a lot more trash that needs to be taken out) and investigate to find your partner is bulimic. And even if all goes well, people can still change and grow apart as a result.

And then break ups are MUCH more intense as you've become financially dependent on each other, can easily have disputes over what belongs to who, pet custody, and the break up itself is often so much more bitter after a long relationship, because those we love the most have the power to hurt us the most (whether they mean to or not), and it can get vicious, the line between love & hate blurring into indistinction. And the longer you're together the longer and harder it will take to get over it, and once you've been together for years you will NEVER fully recover. You'll move on (hopefully), but deep down you won't ever get over it. At least that's the case with me and I know it works that way for many others (male and female) as well. (Hmm, maybe I'm venting here as well...)

I hope I'm not scaring you as that's not my intent. :redface: What I mean to say is if these guys weren't the right one then it's better to find out sooner rather than later because the longer it lasts the more painful (and even potentially dangerous) the breakup will likely be. There are many success stories out there, so don't lose hope, but you will need patience.