Suicide... I pray not

[SadSilence]

I'm confessing to something that I probably shouldn't... But I'm going to so someone can know.

Suicide.... The thoughts are getting more intense. The..... Plans are forming, a simple way. Slow, but simple and easy. I want to run away and hide from everyone, so no one can seee my weakness. To see how weak I truely am, I've tried, I've given warning signs. Talking about death, talking about my death, how short coming it can be. Withdrawing... But no one seems to notice, not anyone who is physically near me anyways. I'm afraid to go to bed. I'm afraid that tonight it may pass, thoughts into reality.... I'm afraid but longing it. To see the world slowly fade in my eyes. I'm weak and hopeless... No one does anything, just passes it off as a phase.

[Toby]

SadSilence,

Coming on to this site and sharing your feelings was a great move. You can always find support and like-minded folk with relatable experiences here. You exist as a person and that is difficult. But every single emotion and feeling from exuberance and despair is absolutely, positively temporary. This feeling, even if it has lasted a while, is temporary. It's temporary, it's temporary, it will pass. Things change. That's the only sure thing.

I have a book called Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws. I love it. It's saved me a number of times.

Pick a number between 1 and 101, please.

[HollandofFrance]

youre too young to die and suicide is no good

life isnt that bad

[HollandofFrance]

get some sun
take walks
eat right

we all get bored but maybe better days will come

[Rainbowmum]

SadSilence I am really sorry that you feel so low sweetheart.

I am about to throw you a curve ball, and I am very sorry if this hurts your feelings, it is meant as a wake up call.

Read the questions below and think on them very seriously.

Why is it important to you ,that people around you notice?
Could it be that you are reaching out for help; do you want them to stop you; is it attention you seek ?

What ever your answer , we are all here for you.

We do notice your mood , we do want to stop you, we are here to help you.
Your state of mind does effect us , and even rips at our heart.

Yet all of it is for naught, if you push us away.

I know you feel you are alone, but you are not sweetie, so many here ,have tried to reach out to you.
Bottom line , we can not help you, if you do not want to help yourself.

There are a few suicide survivors on here , that remember how low they sunk to commit that selfish act , that would destroy all the ones that loved them.

Suicide is never the answer , it is a double edged sword that keeps on cutting and punishing all those left behind.
The pain , guilt ,endless questions never end.

I have many friends here who at one time , went down that road.
They survived and I admire them greatly.

You need professional help , you need tools to survive your depression.
In the mean time please read the links below.

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
This community is an online village , we care , we teach, we help and we are here.

By fenris
Befrienders Worldwide

By Pix
How I Avoid Depression.

By fenris
It Does Get Better - The L Project

[fenris]

Suicide is wrong...... the only reason where I say suicide is a way to go is a sickness to prevent more pains and suffering....
You said that you give signs ... but I´m sure that nobody in your family or friends understand your signs. How should they understand you when you "give your signs" but don´t talk to them... free and open.... about you, your thoughts etc. Signs can be very easy misunderstood.
And suicide to punish parents and friends is a very bad and unfair way.... believe me.

In your case I want to say .. you are much to young to know what you are doing with this step. 3 of my friend did it in the 1980.... and it helped again nothing. They are dead... every chance for a happy living is gone, their families and friends suffer till today.
Give your own future a chance .... you don´t know how your life change when you are older... having a bf ... a nice job... maybe having your own family...

Here are so many people to talk to.... or watch at my "Befrienders worldwide"-link ..there you can find people to talk to.

For me it´s always sad if I read that someone lost the joy of life before he has lived.... you have so many ways to go.... your family ... friends ...maybe the youth office.

[fenris]

"Stop teenage suicide" group on facebook




http://befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp

[Nick9]

SadSilence

It is not that long ago when I wrote very similar post to another website. "I want to do it, I have a plan, please stop me!" It was an anonymous cry for help to people I didn't even know, because the people around me didn't react to my signs and the things I was telling them.
I remembered it yesterday, thinking that if I had done it, I wouldn't have been here for the last five months. And I thought about all those nice little things that I witnessed and lived through during those months.

You are not alone, really, you are not We would miss you. Can you call to some help center? I am not sure, how you call them. You can talk to a therapist over the phone, anonymously, and you can call them free of charge whenever you need. Do you have those?


you may want to read this post from Bowyn Aerrow:
http://www.gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=18864

Stay with us please

[colourblindguy]

Sad Silence, I've been where you are. I've attempted suicide and failed. I am glad I did. I was too depressed to think clearly of what that would have done to my family and friends but it would have been devastating to them and would have deeply effected them for the rest of their lives.
There are good things in store for you buddy. You have to stick around and find out what they are. Don't give up. We're hear for you. Keep your head up. xo

[SadSilence]

I don't know any of you, just a few sights here and there from what you've posted. I want to say thank you and that I love all of you. I can't blame it on others, I can only blame myself. It was all there... All ready but I'm better than that. Though I may not feel like that, like right now, I know I'm better than that. I forget there's a world out there, I forget that even though they do a poor job at showing it there are people who love me and cherish me. Though I am blind and selfish. I need to tell him... My father, that I nearly attempted... And get the help I need. I vow, no matter how intense the thoughts are, that ill never try it again.